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I took my phone from my pocket, opening the texting app with a press of my finger. I typed a message and sent it out in a group text, my motions quick from practice.
I’m not an idiot. I’m far from a perfect man, so thinking I could do everything for you, that I could be everything you need, that’s foolish. If you’d asked me a year ago if I’d trust these three with what mattered most to me, I’d have called you an idiot. Now, though? I’ve got no problem with the arrangement as-is.
Even typing it out forced me to acknowledge the truth of it, to recognize just how much not only Kenz but Hayden, Char and Vance had permeated my entire life. Where I’d lived in the shadows on my own before, content to watch things from a distance, to never be a part of anyone or anything, that no longer fulfilled me. It was as though they’d given me a glimpse of something more, and now nothing short of that could satisfy me.
It both reassured and saddened me that we were so limited in our future. I was glad that I didn’t have to worry about losing it, about having to return to those shadows on my own after experiencing something better. However, I couldn’t deny the pain at knowing I couldn’t have this long term.
Kenz read over my words, taking long enough that I suspected she read it multiple times. The others did the same, the pause in the conversation normal for me since I was used to people needing to read, which slowed the back and forth.
When she finally finished, she lifted her gaze from her screen to my eyes, her expression so sweet that I couldn’t stop myself from reaching out and stroking over the soft skin of her bottom lip. It reminded me of how it had felt to slide past those lips, how she had wrapped them around my cock.
I pressed my thumb deeper, enjoying the wet heat of her mouth, and the way her pupils widened made it clear she recalled the same thing. In fact, she moved her tongue, wrapping it around me, then sucked gently in what I doubted she realized was nearly as provocative a move as it was.
“That’s enough, kids,” Hayden said.
Char snickered softly. “That’s right. Leave room for Jesus.”
“Forget Jesus. Leave room for me,” Vance interrupted.
“I swear, you all make me feel like I’m the chaperon on a field trip of hormonally charged teenagers.” Hayden rubbed his face hard, but even that didn’t change the slight smile he wore, a sign that he didn’t mind it nearly as much as he put on.
“You didn’t say what you thought,” Kenz said, her voice quiet and nervous.
Hayden dropped his hands, and his expression softened when he looked over at her. If that wasn’t the face of a man hopelessly smitten, I didn’t know what was.
“I didn’t realize I needed to,” he said.
That had Kenz dropping her gaze with a frown, clearly taking his words as a rejection.
I shot him a dirty look, cursing again at just how useless Hayden was with women. How was it he could be so talented when it came to protecting people, to securing locations and escape routes and predicting behavior to keep others alive no matter what, but he couldn’t manage to read or talk to women at all?
Hayden winced. At least he figured out his mistake quickly. Did that mean he was learning?
A man can hope.
“I don’t mean it like that,” he rushed out. “I’m saying that even I’ve got eyes, that I’ve known you’re interested in them, too. It’s never been a problem for me. I’m with Char on this—if I didn’t like that, I’d have spoken up from the start.”
“You really are terrible with women,” Char said and shook his head.
“We should start hosting lessons,” Vance agreed. “If he keeps that up, we’re all going to end up cock-blocked because of his mouth. I refuse to end up going to bed with a hard-on because Grandpa there can’t manage to string a useful sentence together.”
Kenz turned her gaze over us all, then burst into laughter so quickly it made me jump. It was as though the tension that had run through her broke all at once, like she suddenly let it go. Hell, it sounded very much like she needed that, and the feeling of us all just having some fun was something weallneeded.
After the stress of Lorien, of everything, the ability to eat some good food and just relax was far too rare a thing.
It made me hesitant to say anything about Pauline, to admit to our failure, and I noticed that Kenz hadn’t said a word about it.
I glanced Hayden’s way and he offered a quick, almost imperceivable shake of his head. Seemed that he agreed.
We’d have to discuss Pauline, but we’d earned at least a little time to take it easy, hadn’t we?
I knew better than most that our problems would still be there later, waiting.
Chapter Eight
Kenz
I took the bowl after Tor had rinsed it and I placed it into the dishwasher. “This is nice,” I said.
