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"Would it not be you who should be cautious then, Hartwin? Since you are the one who brought her to shame?" Hartwin glared at Luther. Anberon shrunk back to try and make himself invisible during this conversation.
"Hardly. I tried to resign as Captain of her guard. I warned you of our past, and it was you who ordered me to comfort her in any way necessary. I believe even Zira can do the maths on that one."
Luther took a slow step towards Hartwin. "You claim I set you both in that position with intent?"
"No, Luther. I claim you and I are Cyran and do not suffer jealousy or shame for sating our needs where they are welcome. I also recognize that Zira is Avalonian and was raised to be ashamed at finding comfort in the arms of another once she was joined. I understand in her world such behavior would find a woman shunned by society, unlike in Cyra, where it is the norm."
Hartwin took a step closer to Luther, so close that we'd touch during inhalation if I stood between them. "The fault is not mine because I warned you. The fault is not hers because she did not intend it nor let it even cross her mind. She was distraught. She sought comfort from the only other person she knew. The fault is yours for not considering how her different cultural upbringing would make her feel when revealed to others outside of the situation as Anberon, Ellery, and Nyla are. Even worse, Nyla is one of her own people and should now shun her."
"I have known since it happened," Anberon chimed in. Hartwin glared at him. Anberon indicated Luther. "I am his Captain. I am as close to him as you are. If you think I have not noticed the subtle difference in the way you two talk now, you are wrong. Once the divide between you two was clear, it did not take much to see how you and the Princess interact. It is too subtle for most to see, but I would not be surprised if a few of the higher-ranked Elite is suspicious. I dare say Commander Stark is fully aware."
"Cyrans are not the problem!" Hartwin snapped. "Do you care?"
Anberon shrugged and shook his head. "She is not my cup of tea, but I can see her beauty, and I have observed her nature enough to understand Luther's attraction, and thus, yours. She is a woman. You are a man that, above all else, she must trust with her life. Taking you to her body is the biggest show of trust I can imagine the Princess ever showing."
Luther indicated silence. "I get what you are saying, Hartwin. It was the insinuation occurring in front of Nyla that has shamed her." With a bow of his head, Hartwin stepped back. Luther turned to face me. "I apologize, Zira. Do you think she will abide by your culture?"
A tear escaped my eye as I shook my head. "I don't know, Luther. We are much changed from our years in Praldia. We have adopted some Praldian customs, some Cyran, but at heart, we are still Avalonian. In my favor is that Nyla is aware of the truth of the situation."
"Nyla may put the fault at my feet for forcing your hand or at Hartwin's for his presence?" Luther asked.
"How does that change judgment?" Anberon asked, intrigued.
Staring at the pattern on the floor, I hugged myself tighter. "Because a woman is not shunned for being forced to betray her companion."
Anberon's jaw dropped. "She would accuse Hartwin of rape?" Anberon asked, astounded. When I shook my head, Anberon frowned. "Well, how does that work?"
Luther coughed, bringing his Captain's attention to him. "Anber, you are aware that Avalonians mate for life?"
"Of course! Everyone knows that."
"What Zira is suggesting is that Nyla is aware that Zira loved Hartwin and intended to devote herself to him some years back. I forced Zira to join with me. Therefore, I have forced Zira to betray me because, in her soul, she belongs to Hartwin."
Swiping another tear from my cheek, I stepped forward. "I don't; he refused me. I haven't belonged to him for years, Luther, and I don't see it that way." Striding to Luther, I caressed his cheek and gazed at him earnestly. "You are a good man. You have been good to me despite how our joining came about. Before we escaped to Praldia, I was raised to understand my companion would be picked for me and thus to accept I may not love the man I am joined with, but I would be his. I belong with you, Luther. I know that. Hartwin has told me he believes that. I want to love you too. It's just…"
“You love Hartwin,” Anberon cut in.
Oh, that avalanche caused ice in my bloodstream. Stepping back from Luther, I folded my arms around me again. "I lost the man I loved two years ago," I confessed to no one. "I have been grieving him since, and I will continue to do so the rest of my days." I glanced up at Luther. "I'm not sure it's possible for an Avalonian to love again. It must have happened before when young companions are lost in the war? It's only been a week."
The room was uncomfortably silent. If I wasn't looking directly at Luther, I could have believed I was alone. But I was only too aware of Hartwin standing at my back. Shuffling my feet for a moment, I waited for Luther to say something. Still, when no one said anything, I hurried from the room, slamming the sliding doors shut behind me, so I didn't have to turn and see their faces. Hartwin's face.
I wanted to be angry that Hartwin's denial of his own feelings took from me the one chance I had to be joined with a man I loved. He'd stolen the possibility of growing to love whatever companion was chosen for me later when he'd slowly embedded himself in my soul. It saddened me that Luther deserved to be loved, and I wasn't sure I could ever give him that. Ashamed that others suspected what nearly occurred in Luther's absence. Most of all, I worried for my children's future.
My hands fell absently over my abdomen. It was true; it'd been confirmed. The door opened and closed. "Do you want Hartwin removed from your guard?"
"I don't know," I sighed. "Hart's right. He's the only other person I know aside from you, Luther. It's just hard wanting to touch him constantly, even to hold his hand, and knowing that would anger him. I have enough trouble restraining myself from having physical contact with you. You're my companion. It's the Avalonian way to need to be physical with those we care about."
Cuddling me from behind, Luther rested his hands over mine. "Then you touch me whenever you need to, Zira. If that little amount allows you to be more comfortable, then I want you to do it. Truthfully, I love it when you reach out for me." He kissed just behind my ear. "I crave your affection, and I want you to raise our children however you think is best, as long as they learn the staples for ruling. Of course, the boys will need to enter the guard." His hands were rubbing over mine, almost caressing our children.
"I want them raised the Cyran way," I revealed. "It's the freest of all the worlds. You're open-minded, emotionally and physically strong, but still kind people. Unfortunately, I can't say that of my people. While the Praldians are more unrestricted in physical appearance, they are jealous, suspicious, and somewhat greedy.
"Our children should be raised Cyran with an understanding and the values of the worlds they are to rule. Especially in Avalonia. Praldia has already started to change, but Avalonia has been isolated from all the other worlds. If it wasn't for their rich resource of water and the wealth it brings, I dare say Avalonia would never interact with the other worlds at all."
"Well, they are about to get shocked into modern times. Once you are queen, Cyrans will migrate there to support their future King and Queen."
Frowning, I turned to face Luther, wary of his words. "You've decided?"
Luther watched me for a moment. "You will claim the throne. You will be queen. You will instill a caretaker, and when you bear me a daughter, she will take the throne as Princess until you pass to the stars. Change is good for everyone, Zira. With Avalonia as a steppingstone, perhaps one day, a granddaughter of ours will be the queen of Cyra or Praldia."
