Page 53 of Silent Girl


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“Aliyah, you’re safe. No one is going to do anything like that to you again. She can’t touch you. Ever. Again.” He sayssheand notMom.

I know that I shouldn’t be so scared. I get that she hasn’t returned in all these years, but what if she does? What if, one day, she’s just waiting at my door? Or in some dark corner? I know it’s stupid. But no one ever said that fear had to be logical.

“I know,” I lie, then decide to take a page out of his book and move this conversation along. “Tell me about this friend you had to help. Is it a girl?”

“Yes—and, no, I’m not telling you who it is.”

“Why not? Do I know her?”

His face goes stoney, solid like a block of ice. It does that when he doesn’t want to give away any details. Which tells me Idoknow her.

“Who is it? That look you have tells me it’s someone I know.”

“What’s been happening here? How are all your friends?” Jonah says instead of answering.

“Same, same. Nothing new.”

“Are you dating anyone?” he asks, and I do a double take.

“What?”

“Are you dating anyone?” he repeats.

“Why? So you can go and make them disappear?”

“Something like that.” He smiles.

“I’d never tell any of you unless it was really serious and I was in love. Just keep in mind that if I ever do bring a guy home…” Jonah’s groan interrupts me. I wait for him to finish before stressing my point. “If I ever do bring a guy home, I love him. And if anything were to happen to him, I’d never forgive any of you.”

“You know we just want to protect you. We’re looking out for you, Lia. You had a shitty start to life, one that wasn’t your fault. One that we should have stopped long before it got to where it did. We should have known what was happening. You don’t understand the guilt we all live with for not knowing,” he tells me.

“What are you talking about?” Honestly, I’m confused.

“No one knew what she was doing. You never said anything. And Dad… he blames himself, and he won’t ever stop blaming himself for allowing someone—anyone—to hurt you like that.”

“It wasn’t his fault. It was mine,” I say.

Jonah shakes his head. “None of it was ever your fault. I know you think it has something to do with you, but I promise you it didn’t. She was sick in the head, Lia. She was always the problem. Not you.”

“She didn’t do those things to you or Gray or Vinny. It was me, Jonah. It’s okay. You don’t have to try to sugarcoat it for me,” I tell him.

“No, she didn’t, but I wish she had. I’d trade places with you in a heartbeat, just so you wouldn’t have gone through it.”

I believe he would too. As much as I complain about my brothers’ overbearing ways, I know it comes from a good place. “Why didn’t she love me?” I’ve never asked this question before, but maybe if I can figure out what it is about me that’s so unlovable, I can finally fix it.

Maybe then I’ll be worthy of the attention Liam gives me.

“She was jealous of you. That’s all it was. She wanted to be the center of Dad’s world. And then you came along and he was besotted, Lia. You’ve always been Dad’s favorite—shit, I think he loves you more than he even loves that fucking hockey team of his.”

I smile. “I don’t think he loves anything more than his team.”

“You’re wrong. You are the one thing he cares about more than anything else in this world.”

“He cares about all of us,” I’m quick to correct.

“He does, but you more so. I’m okay with that, because I get it. You’re my favorite too.” Jonah grins. “And I don’t want to ever hear you say you’re not loveable, because that’s not true either.”

“Maybe,” I say, but it’s hard to believe him. “We should go. I have to get to work.”

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