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“I’m not in love with you, Aria!”
I’m not in love with you…His words echoed through my soul and snuffed out the light.
This was the part where everything became still, as if time had suddenly frozen and the only sound I heard was my heartbeat thudding in my ears, slowing down and weakening before it flat lined and died. He had spiritually killed me. But I still dared to hope for a full resurrection. I believed I was his flaming phoenix.
“Look me in the eye, Noah, and say that to me. Say you’re not in love with me.”
He took his time to respond before he said, “I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because I have to keep my eyes on the road!” he yelled out in rage.
“You said you were blinded by your love for me. You lied.”
“And you clearly misunderstood what I meant.”
“You’re worse than Rob.” I sniveled.
“Yep, I’m the biggest asshole in the world—and a liar. What else would you like to add to that list?” His condescending tone only wounded me deeper.
My feelings were beyond hurt. I had two choices now: stay silent or hurt him back.
Tick… tick…BOOM!
“I wish I never met you! I wish I wasn’t your daughter! And I wish you never came into my life!” I cried hysterically. “I hate you, Noah! I hate you so much!”
The light turned green, and he stepped on the gas so hard I feared we would hydroplane. You know that terrifying feeling you get when someone scares the crap out of you unexpectedly? You jump; your heart rate instantly spikes; and you tremble all over because your nervous system has been shocked. That’s exactly what happened to me as soon as I heard metal scraping against metal and crunching upon impact… deafening car horns and shattering glass.
Consumed with panic, I whipped my head behind me and witnessed the most graphic on-road collision I had ever seen. A fatal car crash occurred as soon as we had passed the intersection at the traffic light. Noah and I had cheated death. It could have been us. Our lives had been spared in that three second period.
To my horror, a huge white four-by-four had slammed into a black sports car. It was a T-Bone collision that had caused the car to flip off the road. The driver in the pickup truck could have been drunk texting or speeding. But they were entirely responsible for the accident because they had run a red light. Overwhelmed by emotion, I started crying. We could have been roadkill that night, and the last words I had said to Noah were “I hate you so much.”
“Oh, my God!” I covered my mouth in shock. “Oh, my God…”
“Don’t look at it,” Noah calmly advised. He slowed down and occasionally glanced at the accident through his rear-view mirror.
My skin felt icy, and I was shaking.
“Hey,” he said, catching my attention. “Sit back in your seat, please. I’m still driving.”
Avoiding the traumatizing scene, I buried my face in my hands and broke down. I just couldn’t hold it in anymore. The ticking sound of a turn signal caught my attention as we pulled into a parking space on the street. Noah said my name in a gentle tone, which was a relief since he had sounded so mean earlier.
“Come here,” he said. “Let me hold you.”
I didn’t want to move, though. A part of me wanted to shut him out and stay angry. But more than anything, I needed his comfort. Nothing felt better than being in his arms. His energy was so masculine, protective, and healing.
“Shhh…you’re okay. I’ve got you.”
Unfastening my seat belt, he wrapped his arms around me.
“I’m s-sorry,” I stammered in tears. “I’m sorry for what I said. I d-don’t hate you. I could… n-never hate [sniffle]… you.”
“Hey,” he murmured in my ear. “I know, baby. Try to calm down. You’re having a panic attack. You’re safe. We’re safe.”
Vulnerability was not something I liked to feel, but how could I have stayed so prideful after almost dying?
“I love you, Noah. I love you so much it hurts.” I clung on to him and had the biggest cry of my life.
