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There was a collective gasp around the room from all the busybodies watching us with hungry interest. I ignored them. My only focus was the omega in front of me, who was currently beet red all the way down his neck from embarrassment.
“There are . . . things . . . from my past that I’ll share with you later.” I gave a pointed glare at all the guests. That was right. I wouldn’t air my dirty laundry in front of this lot. “It prevented me from seeing what was right in front of me. In my effort to save you from me, I hurt you more. For that, I will never stop apologizing.”
There was another loud gasp from around the room and hushed whispers. Alphas didn’t apologize to omegas, especially in public. They weren’t my problem anymore.
“I know I lost the right to ask you this, and if you’d still rather go through with your engagement, I understand. But please, if you can find it in your heart to give me another chance, I’m asking you to take it. I’m done ignoring my own heart. We were meant for each other. I swear to you I’ll make up for all the damage I’ve caused, but you belong to me, Jett. Choose me and let me prove to you I can be the alpha you deserve, the alpha you need.”
The crowd was in an uproar, and I was vaguely aware of the possible harm I was causing by doing this publicly. Omegas didn’t get to choose who they wanted. Alphas didn’t have to prove anything. They just took.
But this was also an Orion Strongfire run dinner party, so it was nothing if not unconventional. And in the midst of the outrage, I heard plenty of support as well.
“Alright, ladies and gentlemen. I apologize for interrupting your dinner early, but as I’m sure you all can see, we have a family matter to attend to. Staff will help you pack up food to-go and assist you to your drivers. Thank you so much for coming, and Merry Christmas.”
I couldn’t hear my own thoughts over the commotion Orion’s words caused. To-go bags? That was nearly as scandalous as my confession. High society did not do takeout. I let him deal with it. I’d handle whatever repercussions and damage control my actions caused tomorrow. For now, the only damage I wanted to undo was what I caused Jett, who was still standing there motionless, frozen to his spot. His lips were parted but no words were coming out.
I didn’t dare move. I barely breathed, too terrified to do anything that would scare him off.
Eventually, it began to quiet down as Orion and the guards were able to usher most of the crowd out. A few remained, of course. Orion was back and standing behind Jett with his arms crossed and his eyes narrowed. Arden stood off to side against the wall, but his eyes never left me. Fucking Gideon Frost was still here too. He was standing up by the place he had been sitting. His expression was neutral, so I was unable to judge what he was thinking. Did he have feelings for my Jett, or was this merely a mutually beneficial contract for him?
Lyric also remained and had now come to stand next to Jett. Jett blindly reached for the other omega’s hand and squeezed it tightly. A lump formed in my throat. Was he going to reject me? I deserved it, of course, but it still hurt.
The silence was suffocating and was becoming too much to bear. Maybe I should just leave? Clearly, I was too late . . . .
“Why now?”
I jumped at Jett’s words, not expecting them after so long, his voice hoarse with emotion.
“Why now what?” My own voice sounded just as scratchy. We were both on the cusps of breakdowns, and I could only pray we both held on long enough.
“Why are you doing this now? What changed? You were so sure your rejection was the right thing to do. You already walked away from me twice. I won’t survive a third time, Emerson.”
There was a low growl from all the alphas in the room, me included. I blocked them all out and finally took those last few steps to my omega. I could no longer bear any space between us. I needed to touch him.
My hand went under his chin, and I tilted his head up. Those bright golden eyes that had been haunting my dreams the last few weeks were bright with tears and emotions. There was so much hope in his gaze, but also fear. Not of me or what I would do to him, but of my rejection. It would take a while for me to always know the difference, but I vowed to try.
“I’m not going anywhere. I’ve had a few wake-up calls these past weeks. I realized I was holding onto something that happened a long time ago and projecting that onto you. I was comparing you to someone else and not listening to what you were telling me.” I sighed and scrubbed my face, trying to give myself a moment. All eyes in the room bored into me, and I desperately wished we were alone, but that was likely more than I could ask for. He took a slight step back, out of my grasp. Despite how badly I wanted to latch on and not let go, I respected his wishes and allowed him the space he was asking for. I tried to ignore just how badly that hurt.
“I won’t ask you to tell me now.” He gestured vaguely, referencing the people still surrounding us. “But I hope you’ll share more about that with me.” He paused, swallowing hard. Lyric squeezed his hand tighter, and Jett smiled at his brother-in-law. “I want to believe you so badly. I want to trust you. But it’s hard.”
“I know, sweetheart. I’ll happily keep apologizing for the rest of my life, but I’m not sure if it’ll mean anything. You need to see proof. So please give me the chance to show you.”
“How do I know you won’t get scared and run away again.”
His words were like a knife to the heart. “You don’t. Gods, Jett. You don’t know how much of a mess my mind is right now. I know I should be the one who has it all together, and I want to be that for you, but right now it feels like someone took a hammer to my brain, smashed all my memories and everything I thought I knew into a million little pieces, scattered them, and is now demanding I put the puzzle back together. I wish I could say with certainty that I’ll never have doubts, that I’ll never question if this is the right thing, but I can’t.”
The tears started to flow freely down Jett’s face now and I couldn’t stand it. My nails bit into my palms as I squeezed my fists so tightly, I wouldn’t be surprised if they started to bleed. Everything was shouting to hold Jett, to make this better for him, but I held it together. I knew how distracting his scent was for me, and I had to imagine it was the same for him. It was easy to forget all the issues when we were holding each other. I wanted him to have a clear head, so I kept my distance.
“I do promise to try though. I promise not to run. If I’m having doubts or second-guessing myself, I won’t keep it bottled up. I may need some space sometimes, but I will never, ever leave you alone and questioning yourself like I did before. You will never doubt if I still want you. Trust me, Jett, I want you so badly, it hurts, and I can promise you that will never change. It’s because I want you this much that I kept backing away. I felt like I didn’t deserve someone, that I should be alone for the rest of my life. I’m just coming to terms with the fact that maybe that’s not true, and there’s no one I’m willing to take that step with other than you. Please, Jett, let me prove myself to you. Let me make you mine.”
The silence was unbearable. You could easily cut the tension with a knife as everyone waited for Jett’s response. It was taking so long that Arden whispered something in Orion’s ear and then went over to Lyric. “Come on, let’s give them some space.”
Lyric seemed reluctant, but with a look from Orion and a small nod from Jett, he followed Arden out. Of course fucking Gideon stayed. He seemed uncomfortable and like he’d rather be anywhere but here. Still, he didn’t move.
Jett blinked heavily, wiping the tears from his eyes, and then, with one slight move, nearly shattered my heart as he turned his back on me and faced Gideon, who was hovering awkwardly near Orion.
My heart was pounding so loudly, it was deafening. I was sure everyone in the room could hear it, but there was nothing I could do to slow it down. This was it. I screwed up so royally that Jett was willing to step away from the bond and his chance at true love.
Jett took a step toward Gideon. It felt like everyone was holding their breaths, waiting for the glass to shatter and the world to end. Or maybe that was just me.
