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She leans back, a smile on her face, and gives me a tender kiss. “That wasn’t a bad way to end it though. You’re making it very hard to leave in two days, Mr. Dudley.”
Why the hell does her calling me that only make me harder beneath her? “So, don’t.” It comes out before I’ve even had time to think and I sigh. “Sorry, that came out wrong, please don’t answer that.” I’m not sure what she’s doing to me, but I need a moment to think about everything that’s transpired tonight.
As if sensing my impending anxiety, she lifts from my lap and gives me the sweetest smile. “That’s okay. It’s about time I head back to the guest house.”
“Let me walk you.”
She stops me before I can get up and says, “No, your leg has been acting up all night. I’m fine to walk across the yard. Rest, I’m sure your leg will thank you come morning if you do.”
As I watch her walk out the front door, I wonder what the hell I’m going to do. This night was nothing like I thought it would be — it was much more, and now I’m conflicted. She has a job, a life that isn’t here. Would it even be right if I asked her to give all that up to come here?
Chapter 16
Sydney
It didn’t take long after getting into the guest house for me to fall asleep, which also didn’t give me much time to dwell on the words Brent uttered last night. He told me not to leave, as if it’s as simple as that, and part of me wanted to scream yes. If he wants me to stay here with him and his son, I’d gladly do it — except that’s not what I’m supposed to be here for.
This isn’t how my time here was supposed to go. My notebook is still tucked safely away when I should be writing every bit of information I find in it, then handing it off to Heath back at the office. The thought of bringing it back out and writing things down leaves a nasty taste in my mouth, so I’m going to have to figure out the best excuse for Heath when I get back home in a few days.
I smile when I glance out the window, loving the way the snow from the dusting we got last night sparkles under the bit of sun shining on it, then I head into the kitchen for a cup of coffee. There’s nothing like a hot drink during the winter months. While my coffee brews, I head into the bedroom and throw on a few layers of clothing before slipping into my winter boots.
The steam is rolling through the air when I get into the kitchen, the scent of coffee calming me, and I get into the fridge for my favorite creamer — which is almost out — and fix my coffee just the way I like it. That first sip in the morning always brings a smile to my face, but it falls when I realize I can’t remember the last time I smiled like this back home.
It’s not time to dwell on that now though. It would be best if I ignore it completely. I’m sure it’s the small vacation I get every time I come here and has nothing to do with the two men who’ve wormed their way into my heart. I walk over to the front door and sit my thermos on the bench before grabbing my hat and gloves sitting beside it, slipping them on quickly.
When I step outside, the chill immediately hits my skin even though I have three different layers of clothes underneath, and I exhale a shaky breath that turns into a small cloud as it mixes with the low temperature. I glance around the property, surprised to find Brent leaning against one of the trees with his gaze on me, and I head in his direction with a small smile.
“Coffee?” I ask, holding my thermos out to him.
He takes the cup with a smirk and steals a sip, his nose wrinkling at the taste before handing it back to me. “What the hell did you put in that?”
I chuckle and take a larger sip of my own, closing my eyes as the warmth from it seeps into my bloodstream. “Creamer.”
“That explains it.” His gaze doesn’t stay on me for long when a few curses come from the direction of the fences. I follow his gaze, finding Nathan standing in the middle of the fenced area with a frown as he watches the erratic horse take off in a circle around him.
“What’s going on?”
Brent sighs. “That’s the horse Nathan wants to put in the derby.”
I hum in response and watch Nathan as he slowly walks toward the horse. He’s saying something as he walks, his voice is too low for me to hear whatever it is, but it seems to help calm the horse down. My eyebrows jump up in surprise and I glance over at Brent, noting the surprise that’s evident on his face as well.
“How have you been doing with his decision?” I ask as a way to break the silence.
“Not great, especially watching how the horse is doing right now. My anxiety only seems to be getting worse, but I’m trying to remember that he’s an adult now and can make his own choices. I’m trying to be the support I know he needs, even if I hate what he wants to do.”
My heart melts at the fatherly side of him and I smile. “That’s the most you can do, or else he’s just going to run off on his own and do it anyway. At least this way you can still be by his side, helping him through this life he chose.”
Brent nods, then he rubs the back of his neck. “About last night —”
“No need,” I say, cutting him off. “We can forget about it.”
“Right.”
There’s a frown on his face, but he doesn’t say anything else as he leans back against the tree. While he watches his son, I make my trek through the snow until I reach the space where their barn used to be. The area is coming along nicely and I’m sure it would look a lot better if the snow wasn’t covering most of it right now.
I jump at the snow crunching under another pair of feet and spin around, my gaze clashing with Brent’s. He sighs next to me, fear making his brows crease as he looks at the empty spot. “The doctors said it was a miracle I made it out that night.”
“It was a storm, right?”
