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Did mafia families have crests? I knew nothing about them. Organized crime wasn’t something you’d find in a town like Snow Tip Falls. Nor was it something that appeared on an Internet search. How had I not learned more about him? It felt like I knew exactly who he was. Yet, I didn’t even know his last name.
A part of that was because I was a horrible person who didn’t deserve him. The other part, though, was that he didn’t seem interested in sharing. I wasn’t the type to ask a lot of questions. So after he told me that his family was involved in organized crime, I stopped asking completely. What was I supposed to do now?
It was as I considered all the ways I could research New York’s mafia families that I heard the phone ring. It was the business’s phone connected to the landline in my mother’s room. Before I could make a move to get it, the ringing stopped. And when I heard my mother’s bell requesting that I assist her, I hurried in.
I might have failed Hil, but I wasn’t going to continue to fail my mother. Rushing up the stairs, I entered her room. She was looking at me with frustration. Having placed the call on hold, she asked the question I had been avoiding answering.
“I’ve been patient. I figured that when the time came, you would tell me. I thought it had to do with your football team or something, so I wasn’t going to pry. But now this,” she said holding up the phone. “I need an explanation right now.”
I stared at the phone confused.
“Who’s that?”
“Hil,” my mother said, filling my forehead with cold sweat.
Before my mother could object, I rushed to her and took the phone.
“Where are you?” I said in a panic.
“I am home,” he replied with sadness.
“I don’t understand. What happened?”
“The guy you saw taking me was my brother, Remy. He needed me home and he wasn’t in the mood to debate about it.”
“So he just took you? Are you alright?”
“I’m pissed off and furious, but physically I’m fine.”
“I still don’t understand. Why did he take you like that? When are you coming back?”
The silence between us drew out. When I heard him crying, I spoke up.
“Hil, when are you coming back?”
Sounding like he was gathering every ounce of courage he had, he said, “I’m not.”
My chest felt like it was on fire.
“What do you mean you’re not coming back?”
“I have already put you in enough danger. Your mother was in that accident because of me. You could have been killed by a bomb because of me. Previously, I could have fooled myself into believing that, somehow it wasn’t my fault. But it was. I understand now. My brother explained it to me. I am not safe to be around. And I love you too much to put you in danger,” he said, breaking my heart.
“I don’t care if being with you is risky. I’ll take that risk. You’re worth it, every second of it.”
“You say that, and I believe you. But would you be willing to allow your mother to be hurt again?” he said, causing my eyes to bounce to the woman who was still recovering from her accident. “And what if the next time it’s one of your brothers or an innocent bystander who didn’t ask for any of this? How would you be able to live with yourself then? I know I couldn’t. And that’s the reason I won’t be contacting you again.”
The blood rushed out of my face having heard what he had said. I couldn’t believe it. He was breaking up with me. I didn’t want him to go. I would have done anything to be in his life. But a part of me knew that he was right. I would do anything and go anywhere to be with him. But, did that give me the right to put everyone I cared about in danger?
“I love you, Hil,” I told him, struggling to stay upright.
Hil exploded into tears.
“I love you too, Cali.”
“I can’t let you go.”
“Then, I will let you go. Bye, Cali. I will never stop thinking about you,” he said before the line went dead.
