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She sneered, “Only on his useless head.”
That’s when I realized I was bleeding from the kick, the pain suddenly sinking in. I was only nine but already tired of being their punching bag. I’d become willing to do anything to avoid more ridicule long ago.
Tears pouring down my face, I double fisted the end of the can as I lifted it higher into the air. I wish I could be like this bird and die…
“Shh…” Rosa still had my cheek cupped in her palm.
Pulled from the memory that felt more like I had gone back in time to relive the event, I burst into a full sob before I could stop it. “How’d you know about that?”
“Part of who I am.” I stared at her for a beat, marveling at how calm and kind her response was.
Being so exposed to Rosa was a bit intimidating. And since my parents had taught me that was a weakness, I became frustrated.
Harsher than I wanted to sound, I asked, “Why should some fallen angel care if I want to die or not?” Right when I said it, I was stunned to realize being shot had truly been a relief. That, unconsciously, I’d been thankful my pitiful life was finally coming to an end. “Fuuuuck.”
Her voice laced with sadness, Rosa told me, “You’re not the only one with unfulfilled wishes.”
Her impactful words, her desperate meaning … kicked me in the gut. Did this angel and I have something in common?
Dumbfounded by an unfamiliar sensation inside, I began panting heavily, my lungs struggling for air.
With a sympathy I’d never known, Rosa told me, “You’re not alone.”
In a rush, I pulled her closer to my chest, as if a prized possession. “What is happening to me?”
“You’re feeling.”
And just like that, I understood that the day of the bird was the day I shut down. It was the day I pushed away emotions and pain so that I could survive my parents and a life that was so horrific in many ways.
Was meeting Rosa random or divine intervention?
Gasping for air didn’t stop me from burying my face in her neck. “Why?”
Soothingly, her fingers combed my thick hair. “Your life coming to an end is bringing you closer to the source of which you were born. There is no hiding now.”
My embrace tightened on her. “I’m … scared.”
Her face nuzzled me. “I know.”
“Am I going to hell?”
“You were.”
I jolted. I hadn’t cared before, hence my horrendous actions, but now my past grievances seemed like a huge mistake.
Wait… “’Were’?”
“I’m tired of being alone, too, Onus.”
My head lifted to see her face. “What are you saying?”
Meekly, she shrugged. “What if you could stay here? Would you be different?”
What a question. Life in one hand … death in the other.
I asked, “Are you saying I have a chance at a ‘do-over?’ ”
“Not a new beginning but a different ending.”
