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I stare toward her in the dim light of the Christmas lights twinkling off the house, my lips aching for hers. “I’ll tell him that I shouldn’t have kissed you, and I’ll apologize if that’s what you want… but I will never say it was a mistake. Touching you willneverbe a mistake, Poppy.”
She shakes her head and looks back toward me before making her way toward the house. Wayne is close behind. He doesn’t acknowledge me.I wouldn’t either.
I’m not making good choices tonight. Trouble is, I don’t think I’m done yet.
Chapter Five
Poppy
The cabin is quiet, and the family Christmas party is finally behind us. Though, I’d sort of redo the day over and over again if it meant Bodie touching me like he did.
I dial Mae. I need to talk to someone, and she’s already texted me six times with messages about Adam flaking. I assume he texted to let her know how terrible everything went and what a horribly awful date I am.
Truth be told, he has a point. I could have shown a little interest in the making of light bulbs or the history of caramel apples. Instead, I was drooling over a man I’ve been in love with for years. A man I was supposed to be over.
Who am I kidding?Getting over Bodie isn’t possible. There’s no doubt in my mind that he’s who I’m supposed to be with. Every cell in my body knows that. I ache for him daily. Who does that? Who aches for another person so consistently that they can set the time by it?
“You really couldn’t even make it through the night?” Mae’s voice is strained. “What happened? Adam wouldn’t tell me anything.”
“What didn’t happen?” I stare up at the ceiling fan as I lay back on my brother’s bed. He said he wasn’t going to be able to sleep and insisted I take it. Even when I’m an ass he’s taking care of me.
“Okay, you’re going to have to be a lot less cryptic.” Mae sighs. “It’s late.”
“Bodie and I… kissed, and… I think he likes me back.”
Silence rings out like a scream on the other end of the line. “Are you sure you didn’t pass out and imagine the whole thing?”
“I’ve asked myself that question a few times today, but I think it happened.” I blow out a breath. “Trouble is, Wayne walked in on us, and I saw quickly how unaccepting he would be of the whole thing.”
“So? You’ve wanted Bodie forever. Like for-ev-er. You have to see where this goes.”
I draw in a heavy breath. “I want to, trust me, but what happens when things go bad?”
“Ya know, sometimes I worry about you.”
“Why?”
“Well, you’ve wanted Bodie for years, you finally get him in your clutches, and you’re already worried about things going bad?” Her tone lifts. “Enjoy it while you got it, girl. If it fails miserably, at least you got it out of your system.”
“And then what? What about Wayne?”
“Come on. Do you really think your only brother will stop loving you if you do something he doesn’t like? It’s time you stop with that.” She sighs into the line. “You have to do this. You’ve uncorked the bottle. What do you have to lose at this point?”
“No, I explained the whole thing away. It’s fine. He’ll wake up in the morning, assume we were all drunk, and it will melt into the ether like it should.”
“Pop,” she pauses dramatically, “how are you going to look Bodie in the eye knowing what you know? It’s going to eat you up inside. You’ll go crazy.”
It’s only been three hours since we kissed and it’s already eating me up that I’m not lying next to him, so I get where she’s going with this.
“I know, but I have to figure out how to compartmentalize it all.”
“Right.” Her tone is curt. “You’re so good at compartmentalizing. Can I remind you of the twelve-step process you were on a few hours ago? Which step is this?”
I bite back a laugh because I have to admit, that’s funny. “I think this is the step after acceptance.”
“Oh… so kissing him is accepting the fact that you’re over him.”
“Yeah. I got it out of my system so… you know… I’m good now.”
