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“I’m sorry, Cian. I didn’t realize.”
He rubbed his hands up and down my back, shushing me. “No, no. It’s not your fault. You wouldn’t have known.” He was quiet for a moment as we lay there, just his hand moving back and forth against my skin. “Things changed soon after that. Something in him snapped and he just…changed completely. So did my mother. Everything went to shit.”
“What made her change?” I whispered against his chest.
“Secrets… she thought she had hidden away. But they always come out.”
I could hear the venom in his voice and my heart ached for him. He didn’t elaborate, and I didn’t want to press him anymore. He never liked talking about his past, and when he did, he would skim over the details. And who was I to question him? Those were his secrets to keep, his and his family’s. All I could do was try to be the one to remind him that it was all over. All that mattered right now was these moments together. But I would be lying if I said there wasn’t a part of me that wanted to know more. What secrets could have turned a happy woman into a piece-of-shit mother who let her son get hit? The thought alone was enough to make my blood boil.
The knife in the closet popped into my head, but I squeezed my eyes shut. No. Tonight was definitely not the night to talk about that. I would let the past be in the past. There wasn’t room for it in our future.
“Fuck it,” he grumbled and leaned back on the bed. “You’re the only thing that matters now.” His eyes glistened, and I reached up, cradling his face in my palms as I planted kisses all over him. I would do anything to take his pain away, to help him forget his terrible childhood. But I couldn’t, no matter how much I wanted to.
“I love you so much, Cian,” I whispered against his lips.
“I love you more.” He rolled over so that he was propped on top of me. The air in the room had changed in the span of twenty seconds. I could see it all over his face. The hurt, the fear. Uncontrollable lust. A passion that burned deep inside both of us that was hard to ignore. My legs fell to the side, my body knowing exactly what to do as his lips crashed into mine.
I didn’t know what was going to happen over the next few weeks or months, how untethered Ryzen had become or what he had planned. But I knew that Cian would do anything in his power to protect me, and that I would do the same for him. I just hoped that it was good enough. That our love was strong enough to survive this. The constant fear, stress and anger would have torn lesser people apart a long time ago. But not us. We were fighters.
*****
I snuck out of bed early the next morning and left a snoring Cian in our pitch-black bedroom. After fucking up almost the entire dinner last night, I was determined to redeem myself by making him a breakfast fit for a king. It was virtually impossible to fuck up breakfast. Omelet, French toast, fruit, his favorite protein shake, and I would be well on my way to being the next Martha Stewart.
But first, coffee. I dug through our cupboards and groaned, realizing that we were completely out. The time on my watch read six a.m., and I threw my head back, sighing. I could run to the store, but then Cian would be pissed I had left without protection. But I didn’t want to bother anyone this early. I wasn’t in the mood to deal with all that. I texted Valik asking if he had any coffee downstairs at his apartment. My fingers drummed against the kitchen counter as I waited for a response. After a few minutes and no answer, I decided that either (a) he was passed out after a night of dancing, or (b) he might not have even made it home last night. Lucky for me, I had a key to his unit for emergency purposes. And I would say being out of coffee was definitely an emergency.
I slipped on my flip-flops, not bothering to change out of my pajamas, and took the elevator down the few floors to Valik’s apartment. I pressed my ear to his front door, listening for any sounds, but I couldn’t hear anything. He must have had a wild time last night, and I couldn’t wait to hear all about it. I opened the door slowly and called out to him, but he didn’t answer.
Good, maybe he wasn’t home, and I wouldn’t have to explain why I was in his apartment at this godforsaken hour. The blinds were shut, making the apartment seem more eerie than necessary. I tiptoed over to the kitchen and rummaged through the cupboards until I found his stash of coffee. Great, top shelf. Damn Valik and his Jolly Giant ass. I grabbed a chair from the dining room and dragged it over. My hand wrapped around the bag, and I kissed it, thanking the coffee gods that Valik was more prepared than I was.
A noise came from behind me and my heart stopped as a figure stood off to the side. I couldn’t help the scream that ripped from my throat a second later.
Milliani screamed in response, and I dropped the bag of coffee beans on the ground. She stood there barefoot, only wearing one of Valik’s oversized dress shirts.
“Nova! You scared me half to death.” Her breath came out ragged and I jumped down off the chair.
“Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t think Valik was home, and I needed coffee.” I reached down and picked up the bag from the floor.
Valik came rushing down the hall, a gun in his hand, and I threw my hands up in the air.
“Nova?” He shook his head and placed the gun on the kitchen counter. “Jesus, don’t sneak in here like that. I could have shot you,” he grumbled.
The three of us stood there in silence for a moment, and I looked around, anywhere but at them. Well, this was fucking awkward. It hadn’t even crossed my mind that Milliani might be at his place, which I could see now was a big mistake on my part.
“Coffee? Really, Nova? What have I told you?” Valik came around the counter and opened a cupboard on the bottom shelf that had six more bags of coffee. “Always buy more, so you’re prepared.” He tossed a bag over his shoulder to me and I grabbed it before it could fall to the ground.
“You’re right.” I scrunched up my nose and walked backwards, holding the bags up. “Well, sorry to disturb you kids, I’ll be going now.”
“Do you need anything else?” Valik chuckled.
Good, I was glad he was finding this whole situation amusing, so I didn’t have to feel like an ass. I glanced at Milliani, who looked just as uncomfortable as I felt, and shook my head. “Oh, no, have a good time. I’ll see you tonight at the party.”
I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. God, he was really going to lecture me about this later. Something told me he was going to show up at my apartment with a grocery bag full of coffee. Which was good, because I was morbidly curious about how his date had gone. I mean, not that I hadn’t just seen the end result, but I needed details.
One thing was for sure, though.
Juliet was going to lose her shit over this.
When I got back to my apartment, Cian was still asleep, thank God. I started the coffee, then made an omelet filled with vegetables, plus French toast and a side of fruit. I balanced the tray in my hand and pushed our bedroom door open. Cian sat up and stretched his arms over his head, looking as delicious as ever.
