Page 47 of Tutored in Love


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He drafted a new reply to her email—this time in a document so he couldn’t accidentally send it. All it said was,I’m sorry for being mean. He almost felt heshouldsend that one, but eating crow in private was hard enough. He convinced himself it would be better for her if she never heard from him again. Besides, he didn’t have her new email address or any other way of contacting her.

At least, not one he was willing to use.

The next entry he wrote after a particularly vivid dream reliving their date. He filled it with all the bitterness he could summon, much of it having nothing to do with her, if he was honest. Like lancing a boil, getting all the hateful words out of his head cleared his mind for different thoughts.

As he read what he’d written, seeing for the first time how much of his anger at Grace stemmed from the rejection he’d felt as a child, he admitted to himself that he missed talking to her—or, well,hertalking tohim.

He missed her telling him all those little things about herself he had pretended to ignore. The writing helped, but he regretted all the times she had asked about his life and he had shut her down. Would it have been so bad to share? Blurting out that his dad had died an alcoholic had been strangely cathartic—even now, he wasn’t sure how that had happened—and when he’d told her he didn’t want to talk about it again, she’d respected that boundary without argument. Almost like she understood.

The snow fell on the plateau and in the mountains, his classes slogged on, and Noah somehow survived. His last ski class came and went, and those now-empty Tuesdays loomed as the longest day of the week. March brought some sunshine and slipped into a warmer April, but the usual lift he felt in the spring was missing.

Something had to change.

Chapter 25

Pitch

One cool but sunny late-Aprilafternoon, after completing his last winter semester final, Noah zipped up his jacket and started home from campus. His dingy basement apartment on the west side, shared with three other single men, was less than homey—but it was in good repair, and it was cheap. He imagined what kind of apartment Grace lived in—he had only ever heard her mention one roommate, so she probably had a private room in one of the newer units farther from campus. The dream job had taken her nearer to Grand Junction, if he wasn’t mistaken. He pictured her lounging comfortably after work in a sunlit living room, reading a novel, surrounded by glossy brochures for exotic outdoor adventures, her curly brown hair falling in front of her eyes—

“Hey, Noah!”

He startled at the voice next to him, looked around to get his bearings, found Amy’s roommate at his side, and stifled a groan.

“Oh, hey...” He racked his brain for the girl’s name but came up short and covered the fail with a nod. In addition to the Amy connection, he knew the woman was dating a guy he’d had a class with but couldn’t remember his name either. A twinge of guilt niggled at him. He had railed at Grace for forgetting him, but his memory was clearly far from perfect.

“Jane,” she said, providing the name he couldn’t supply. “I’m Amy’s—”

“Roommate,” he finished, feeling like a heel on multiple levels. Maybe it was time he made an effort to be social again. “Yeah, I recognized you. I just couldn’t...” Her boyfriend’s name materialized. “Chad’s your boyfriend, right?”

Her smile brightened. “Fiancé, actually. We were just talking about you the other day.”

“Oh,” he said, trying to smile as his stomach tightened. He thought the thing with Amy had been long since resolved. Was she sending her roommates to fetch him for her now?

Jane chuckled. “Don’t worry,” she said, “I’m not here on Amy’s bidding.”

Noah failed to hide his relief.

“Yeah, she can be... overenthusiastic, but she has a good heart. Anyway,” she said, repositioning her backpack on her shoulders, “do you mind if I walk with you?”

He shrugged and resumed his homeward trek as Jane continued talking.

“So Chad and I are going to volunteer at an orphanage in Mexico for a week after finals.”

What was he supposed to say to that? “Good for you”? “Way to be charitable”? He just nodded.

“There’s this foundation that organizes teams to travel down and help—I’ve gone a few times. Anyway, we’ve got a great group going this time, all singles—except me and Chad, I guess—but one of our guys just had to bail.”

“That’s too bad,” Noah said. What did this have to do with him? Surely, she wasn’t asking—

“We’ve got some other girls who might be able to go, but we could really use another guy in the group, and Chad brought up your name. You work construction in the summers, right?”

“Yeah.” How did Jane know that? He had talked to Chad a few times in class, and he was a nice enough guy, but Noah barely knew him. Jane even less.

“That’s perfect!” she said. “I know it’s spur-of-the-moment and you won’t know everyone, but I’ve done this a few times and it’s amazing. Spending time with the kids, improving their living situations, showing them that there are people who care... I’ll send you a link so you can check it out.”

It did sound kind of amazing—just the kind of thing that might pull him out of this latest funk—other than spending an entire week trapped in another country with a bunch of people he didn’t know. Fortunately, the fact that he could barely pay his rent gave him an easy out.

“That does sound great, but I can’t afford—”

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