AllFreeNovel
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It was like a dream. His excitement for life made me feel alive and wanted and included for once, instead of inhabiting my usual place on the sidelines, cheering on whichever roommate was about to get engaged.
Not that we’re talking marriage. It’s only been a couple of months.
Finding time to spend together when our schedules are so at odds has been a challenge—he works conventional hours, and I work evenings and Saturdays, with Sunday and Monday off. I was flattered when he offered to attend Pastor Will’s Sunday service instead of the one he’d been going to so that we could have more time together.
I didn’t foresee the difficulties.
Alec is the quintessential California boy: tall and attractive and athletic and funny and a really good person to boot. His personality is so dynamic, he can’t help but take center stage wherever he is, and that’s been difficult to navigate. Not that I’ve ever wanted the spotlight, but I’m used to having my own space, doing things my way. Surely it’s just the collateral damage of extended singlehood: the longer I’m alone, the more set in my ways I become. All couples have to adjust to each other, figure out how they work as a pair. As much as I enjoy being with someone, that part has been a little rough.
Maybe it would be easier if we stopped playing volleyball together.
As for the physical... clearly I’ve watched way too many chick flicks and my expectations are way out of line. Ilikeholding his hand. Ilikekissing. Expecting magic is unrealistic, and basing a long-term relationship on the physical is like expecting one strip of firecrackers to keep you warm all winter.
I know that.
But holding Noah’s hand was—
Stop.
I pull my thoughts back to reality, back to my driving to work.
I’m dating Alec. He’s the one asking me out, telling me how much he enjoys being with me.
Although, sometimes I wonder if he likes theideahe’s created of me more than therealme. Sometimes I think his interest only caught because—this time—I didn’t chase after him like everyone else.
LikeIdid, before.
He’s a good guy, and fun and handsome, and the thought of going back to being alone in my free time or third-wheeling with my married or dating friends smells like onions moldering in the back corner of the pantry. All relationships take work, and I’m willing to do my part.
If only he wouldn’t be so affectionate in public.
I focus on the tricky left into the parking lot, park my car, and do some mindfulness exercises to clear my head. Knowing I’m walking into a building full of therapists is good motivation.
Of course it’s Marcus that I meet on my way into the academy. I apparently throw too much cheer into my “Hi, Marcus!”
That or he’s clairvoyant.
“Whoa,” he says, making a U-turn from the front door and following me into the commons area. “What’s up?”
Nobody loads that phrase like Marcus. Shoot. I keep a neutral expression for anyone who might walk past, but I know Marcus will see through any fabricated explanations. “Ran into Noah last night.”
His eyebrows raise.
“Hey, Lars!” I give the lanky sixteen-year-old a fist bump and a big smile as he passes by.
Marcus narrows his eyes so he can bore into my head with his therapist laser vision, worrying the shark-bite scar on his finger like he always does when he’s analyzing. “‘Ran into’?”
I give him the lowdown of my Monday evening, including Noah’s move-in and Alec’s escalating PDA.
“What are you going to do?” he asks.
“Ask him to tone it down. Again.”
“I meant about Noah.”
“There’s nothing to do. We’re friends, I guess, but I’m with Alec.”
Marcus is skeptical.
