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“No, please… I want to know about Alex.”
Heather sits down again as Tom nods, both looking apprehensive. I’m sure that, like me, they spent years trying to recover from everything they went through, and having to rehash it can’t be easy.
“After Tate told us about the drugs, we searched Jade’s room, and that’s when we found out what was really going on.”
I sniff and frantically rub under my eyes. Through this entire conversation they haven’t mentioned Jesse. Did Tate tell them what happened but leave Jesse out of it? It seems that while Jesse was acting as my protector, he had a protector of his own.
“Jade and Alex had met a few years earlier, but only seemed to get close a couple of months before she died. At a family function. He wasn’t technically related to us, but he was there because his dad is my brother-in-law’s brother. Jade’s uncle’s brother.”
What?I’m sure that makes sense. I just have to process it.
Jade’s uncle’s brother’s son. Not blood related. Oh yep, I’m there. Wait.
“Does your brother-in-law still live here?”
“With my sister, yes. That’s who we come to visit and that’s who Alex stayed with when he was here. Of course, we had no idea. When we gave the police information about Alex, it caused some tension, and we all agreed he would not be a topic of conversation between us if we wanted to remain civil.”
“Okay.” I don’t even know what to say.
“Anyway, he was a few years older than Jade, and she fell for his charms.”Like a lot of people.
“They spent the entire night together at that party, but then she never mentioned him again. If we asked, she changed the subject, so we assumed he’d broken her heart and she was being a teenager. Please don’t react to that; we will always regret that assumption.”
“God, I’d never.”I didn’t see it either.
“When we searched her room,” Tom continues, his voice a little rough as he takes over, “we found her diary. Most of it was about the two of you and your wild adventures.” He smiles. “But there were a few pages near the end about Alex. Detailing how confused she was, how she was falling for him and how he was telling her he felt the same, but then he’d hurt her, or tell her she wasn’t good enough.” He pauses, running a hand down his face. “Her last entry was all about how she wanted to be good enough. That she wanted to prove to him that she wasn’t the innocent little girl he said he couldn’t fully love. That’s why she tried to help him secure the drugs. We later found out that Alex would have continued to use her if given the chance. Her death ruined his plans.”
Oh God.I can’t hold back my gasp, but I do try to hide it as a tear slides down my cheek.
“Why didn’t she tell me?” I whisper, wrapping my arms around myself. “We were a team.”
“Oh, sweetie. She didn’t tell anyone. She was embarrassed. She had no idea he was manipulating her. She truly believed she wasn’t good enough, and part of her wanted to prove it to everyone. Not just Alex. I think she wanted to wait until they were together. Because she honestly believed they would be.”
“But…why?” I never made her feel that way. She waseverythingto me. She was perfect just the way she was.
“We don’t know. I’m sorry. And I’m sorry he came after you. We always assumed if he was going to come after anyone, it would be us.”
A shiver runs through me, but I’m not concerned about myself or what he could have done to me. All I can think about is Jade and the way I let her down.
I try to hide my pain from Heather and Tom—they’ve been through enough—but I’m sure they see it.
“We all wish we’d seen the signs back then, Willow. But none of us did. I’m sorry we never told you.”
We cry and hug until Heather and Tom have to leave, the conversation draining us all.
As soon as I turn around after closing the door, Jesse’s there, pulling me into his arms, knowing I’m about to break. And break I do.
The past few months have been more than I can handle, but I want to believe that’s it. That I have nothing left to go through.
“Promise me that’s the end of it, Jesse,” I say as I cry. “Promise me, there’s not some other kind of fresh hell waiting around the corner.”
Jesse holds me tightly, his lips pressed against my head. “It’s over, Willow. We just have to process everything that happened and then it’s over.”
Short of me actually remembering one day.
Although, if I’m being honest, I’m no longer convinced that my memories are buried. I think they’re gone. And after everything I’ve been through, I’m kind of okay with that.
“All happy from now on?” I ask, pulling back to peer up at Jesse. “Deal?” He smiles down at me with tears coating his eyes, but also with so much love that I have my answer. Even if it’s not all smooth sailing. It doesn’t matter, because I know that we will help each other through it. We’ll make each other happy.
