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The past month has been hell. Never in my life did I expect I’d find someone who completely consumed me. For the first few months after I left Mossman Hills, all those years ago, I was a shell of a human. I couldn’t sleep; I barely ate. My life essentially ended that fateful day. The day she forgot.
But my new foster family slowly brought me back to life the best way they knew how…hockey. Bit by bit the cold and brutal sport thawed me out, broke through my walls, and allowed me to breathe again. To feel something more than the numbness that had taken over.
Hockey gave me back my life.
But back then, I thought leaving her was the best thing I could do for her.
This time around, I’m worried leaving made things worse.
Other than a few random, emotionless responses to my calls and texts, I have no idea how she is. Pippa won’t talk to me about her, and Ryan says he doesn’t know anything. There’s no news headlines to keep me informed this time, no hearsay filtering back.
All I’m getting is silence.
And I guess I can see the justice in that.
For years, I kept quiet. Even after I found her again, I bit my tongue. It’s about time I had the favor returned.
But it fucking sucks.
I’m fighting an uphill battle. And this time, hockey isn’t helping.
I need to see Willow.
She’s all that matters.
When I get to Coach’s office, Ryan’s already there, sitting like a school kid on his first day, with his eyes focused ahead of him, ever the teacher's pet.
I’d probably chuckle if it hadn’t been weeks since I found anything worth laughing about.
“Why am I getting calls about the two of you feuding?” Coach says as soon as I enter the room, his gaze locked on his laptop screen in front of him. I quickly glance toward Ryan as Coach continues. “If this has anything to do with Pip—”
“It doesn’t,” I say, cutting him off. “And we’re not feuding.” I may be pissed off with Pippa at the moment, but I’m not about to throw her or Ryan under a bus.
“I’ve noticed some tension and—”
“You don’t really buy into gossip, do you?” I ask, realizing immediately that it wasn’t my smartest move.
“Watch it, Jesse. Now’s the time for you to be on your best behavior, isn’t it?” He doesn’t have to say it for me to know what he’s referring to. I’m still unsigned after this season. “You’re a great player,” he continues on. “One of our best. And if we want to win and keep winning in the next few years, we’ll probably need you. But we’ll never tolerate players with an attitude problem.” He pauses, but it’s obvious he’s not finished, so for the sake of my job, I stay quiet. “We’ve let a lot slide over the years when it comes to you. But that’s because we’d all avoid the media if we could, and it isn’t hurting anyone. But if you bring that same disrespect to me, other staff, or the team, you’re out.”
Jesus. I think we got him on a bad day. He’s usually the nicest of the coaches.
“As for you,” he says, turning to Ryan. “Next time something happens with a member of our staff, have the balls to tell us yourself. I shouldn’t have to hear it from your girlfriend, like she’s briefing me on a fucking publicity issue.”
Ryan nods as I internally cringe for him.
“And if this one’s giving you a hard time,” he adds, pointing to me, “tell him to fuck off. Don’t let it affect your game.”
Damn.
“Will do,” Ryan says, sitting up even straighter, something I didn’t think was possible.
“Good, whatever it is, or isn’t, sort it out. We’ve got a cup to win this season.”
That we do.
Especially if I’m not getting a new contract.
I’m walking a few paces behind Ryan as we both make our way back to the locker rooms, and when he rounds the corner before me, Pippa’s voice has me coming to a stop.
