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“There was a mix-up with our deliveries this morning. Those boxes over there are meant for us.”
“Wow, that’s a lot of new stock,” I say as a tightness pulls at the pit of my stomach. It looks like they’re expanding the store, which means she has no intention of leaving, even after telling me she’d love to spread her wings.
“It is. It’s double our usual order.”
“That’s great. Have sales increased?” I’m careful not to mention my potential part in those sales. We both know what I did; there is no need to discuss it.
Willow’s lips pull into a smile, sending my heart racing. She opens her mouth to say something, but laughs instead. “You could say that. It’s amazing what a little bit of promotion will do.”
“I’ve heard that usually helps.” I wink, and for the briefest of seconds, her eyes light up with a spark, before it’s gone.
Conversation over, we collect as many boxes as we can and take them to the shop. Sara opens the door and guides us to their back room so we don’t knock anything over along the way, her smile friendly but cautious.
“Nice to see you again, Sara,” I say with a nod. “Willow tells me the store’s doing well.”
“Did she?” Sara says, raising an eyebrow as she turns to Willow. “I didn’t think—” Willow shakes her head, cutting Sara off, and the pang in my stomach worsens. I feel more like an outsidernowthan I did the first time I was here, when I barely knew her. I feel like I’m a voyeur in her life, only here to watch and see how well she has it. At least, now I know why Pippa didn’t stop me from coming here. She’s definitely thinking it will help me move on. And it probably should.
When the boxes are all spread out, Sara excuses herself, leaving Willow and me alone. The air shifts as the tension rises, quickly becoming uncomfortable as a foreign feeling takes over.
“Why are you really here?” Willow asks the second the door shuts. She busies herself searching the contents of the first box while I watch her from behind.
“I came to see you. To apologize again.”
“I don’t need the apology. We said everything we needed to say when I was in San Francisco.”
“Youmay have said everything, but I never really got the chance to explain.”
Willow spins to face me. “It doesn’t matter. Nothing will change the outcome. You still lied. Even after seeing me again.”
Her words hit me like a punch, bruising my soul as she connects over and over. Just like when my asshole foster father used to beat the shit out of me. Only this hurts so much more.
“I just wanted to protect you,” I state, my voice a little more abrupt than I mean it to be, desperate for the words to sink in. For her to understand.
“I didn’t need you to protect me, Jesse. I just wanted the truth. I just wanted you to want me. To care for me. To be in thiswith me.”
“I was. I am.”
“It doesn’t fix things.”
“You keep saying that without telling me whatwill. You’ve got to understand that I never wanted to hurt you. Everything I did was about keeping the pain away.”
“I know.”
“Do you?”
“Yes, I get it. I know why you did it. Doesn’t mean I think it’s right.”
She knows. She gets it. But it changes nothing.
Willow closes her eyes and lets her head drop back, a new tension crossing over her. “I can’t do this. Please,” she whispers, her genuine happiness replaced by an ache that breaks me.
“Pushing me away isn’t going to fix anything, Willow. I know you feel something for me. Doesn’t that count for anything?”
“I can love someone and still choose not to be with them,” she blurts out, her voice higher than before. “You hurt me, Jesse. And now I need to let you go. No, now Iwantto let you go.” Her voice cracks but she holds strong in her expression, while I shatter.
What do I say to that? She can love someone but choose not to be with them.Me. She can love and leave me.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper since there’s not much more I can do. I’ve hurt her enough. It’s time to stop. “I didn’t come to mess up your life again. I just wanted to see you. To try and win you back.”
