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“Funny you should say that.” Charlie’s arm tightened around my shoulder. “I spent a long time talking to my cousin Buck earlier today. He said he might have a position for me.”
I popped my head up and stared at him. “Here in the Thicket? That would be… that’s…” I took a breath. “How would you feel about that?”
His eyes warmed as he reached up to caress my cheek. “I think I’d like a change. For a lot of reasons.” We locked eyes, and for a split second, I thought I had a chance at my happily ever after. But then he continued. “But the job he suggested would never work.”
I felt like I’d been sucker punched. “No? I mean… no. Right.”
“For one thing, Buck is… well, he’s Buck,” Charlie said, as though this were self-explanatory, and for anyone who knew Buck, I supposed it was. Buck was a bit of a hot mess—equal parts brilliant and ridiculous, well-meaning and annoying since it was impossible to tell if the things he said were actually true or merely what he’d convinced himself was true.
“Plus,” Charlie went on, “the job he’s talking about would be working for his new video game company—he’s come up with a new game so big and hard, the whole world’ll stop playing with their Horns and pay attention, mark my words, Junior!” He rolled his eyes.
“Is that even possible?” I was vaguely appalled by the idea. I’d never been a gamer, but from what I’d seen, Horn of Glory was already an addictive, technicolor, Narnia-like acid trip.
“That’s what Buck says, and given what he’s already created, it’s not out of the realm of possibility.” Charlie hesitated. “The thing is, I know nothing about the video game business, but it seems to me that taking a role at a multinational organization that’s anticipating meteoric growth isn’t any closer to my ideal job than the one I have now. I’d still end up managing managers who’d be managing teams. I still wouldn’t get any kind of personal interaction. I’d still be crazy busy and working constantly. So… that would be stupid and shortsighted. Right?”
“Yeah. I… I guess it would.” I exhaled and settled back down against his chest for a long minute while his heart beat a rapid cadence against my ear.
A selfish part of me wanted to convince him to take Buck’s job anyway—Charlie’s current job wasn’t perfect either, and at least this way, we could be together—but even if it was possible to persuade him, I knew it wouldn’t be fair.
Since I was a kid, I’d dreamed of a future in the Thicket: of starting a business, of falling in love, of raising a family and watching them thrive. The what and the where of that dream had never really been in doubt for me. Now I knew who I wanted to share the dream with too, which was both terrifying and amazing, but it didn’t feel like a cataclysmic shift so much as a crucial puzzle piece slotting into place to finally reveal a clear picture.
For nearly as long, though, Charlie had actively avoided dreaming of a future here in this small town, let alone with me. While I hoped that had changed a little in the last couple of days, it wasn’t fair to expect him to be on the same page I was yet. Moving to the Thicket would mean chucking his whole fancy life out the window, and who’d take that kind of risk on the basis of a winning bet, two days of Thicket turkey shenanigans, and a couple of rounds of truly incredible sex?
Not the stability-loving man I was falling for, that was for damn sure.
The last thing I wanted was for him to make a choice for me because I pressured him into making my dream come true. That was a sure path to resentment.
But… that didn’t mean I couldn’t figure out a way to show him just how good things could be if he stuck around, right? Before he left, I needed to give Charlie something to think about when he was back in Chicago. A reason to make sure he didn’t stay gone for another fifteen years. A reminder of the true and solid things waiting for him in the Thicket when he was ready to claim them.
While I thought over this dilemma, Charlie’s fingers continued to tease my skin, down my back and up my arms, until my mind lost its grip on my thoughts and I fell into a comfortable half sleep.
“I like you more than ever,” I confessed from the safety of my drowsy haze. “I’m so glad you’re back.”
Another soft press of lips in my hair proceeded Charlie’s murmur of agreement. “Not sure I want to leave,” he admitted in a low voice.
As I drifted off to sleep, I thought I heard him add, “Not sure I can.”
