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Reluctantly, I pull the box into my lap. It doesn’t feel heavy, but I can definitely feel something shift inside. After pulling the ribbon off, I lift the lid and peek inside. Whatever it is, it’s covered in tissue paper, so I begin to unfold it, searching for whatever is in here. When my fingers find it, I can’t believe it. A small note accompanies the large silver dollar coin.
* * *
When I was fourteen,I was playing with Willette and Hawk in the woods behind her childhood home. We were just being dumb kids. Throwing rocks, balancing on fallen trees, trying to climb others. We played tag and caught frogs. You name it, we did it.
I carried a silver dollar in my pocket everywhere I went. Our father gave it to me when I was really young. It was my lucky coin. I continued carrying it even after he left. At some point, I pulled it out of my pocket and rubbed my fingers over it. I thought I had placed it safely back into my pocket but when I searched for it a little while later, it was nowhere to be found.
The three of us searched high and low all over those woods looking for it. We looked for two days straight. Finally, I accepted that it was gone. I was pretty bummed for a long time. From time to time, I still think of that coin.
Dear Derek,
This isn’t the same one you lost. You didn’t know it, but even after we officially gave up the search for the coin in the woods, I continued to look for it on my own. I’d come out in the mornings right after waking up and search until my mother called me in for lunch. I’d look some more until dinner. Any day I was home, I’d look. Over the years, I looked less frequently, but I’d still slip out there and give it an effort every now and then. So while this isn’t the same one, I thought maybe it was time for you to have a lucky coin again. A new one.
xo,
Willette
I’m not evensure I have words for what I’m feeling after reading that letter. She even signed her full name. There’s a lump in my throat and a pain in my heart. She really did love me. For all these years.
I tuck the note back into the box, sitting it on my nightstand. I loop the belt through my pants and tighten it into place. Picking the coin up from the edge of my bed, I run my fingers over one side, then the other, pressing my thumb against the etchings.
Tucking it into my pocket for safekeeping, I exit to the living room just in time to hear a knock at the front door.
I would give anything to have it be Willette. If she were to arrive first, we could have a moment alone to talk. I would really love that actually.
But, it’s not. I swing the door open to find Avery, Hanson, and a blonde woman who looks vaguely familiar.
“Hola, amigo,” Hanson says, holding up a bottle of bourbon with a ribbon tied around it. “This is for you.”
“Thanks, man,” I say, slapping my hand against his in a casual handshake. “Come on in.”
“Wow,” Avery says. “Nice new place. Oh, and Derek, this is Helena Davenport.”
I watch Avery wrap his arm around her waist, pulling her to the side of him. I reach out my hand for hers. “Nice to meet you.
“You as well,” she says, giving a wide toothy smile. I’ll admit, she’s very attractive. She’s also impeccably dressed, which leads me to wonder how the hell these two met and what she’s doing here with Avery. To be fair, Avery’s a great guy. I simply mean they’re very much standing here in front of me and they’re total opposites.
“Come on in,” I say, gesturing forward to the whole group.
“We’re here!” Drew’s voice calls out just behind them and I turn to see Hawk and Ava in tow with her.
Everyone but Willette. This is everyone but her. A pang of panic hits my gut.Is she coming?I thought for sure she would but perhaps my instincts weren’t good on this one.
I usher everyone into the kitchen, grabbing drinks for each of them. Gathering around the island, a few even start to grab food from the boards and I feel a bit relieved. It can be torture to play host, to hope everything goes well. Though, the fact that she isn’t here is a different sort of strange torture.
“Will said she’s on her way,” Drew says, as if somehow reading my thoughts. The group grows quiet, all of them knowing what’s occurred.
“Oh good,” I say. “I’m glad she decided to come.”
“Honestly,” Hawk says, “I didn’t expect her to.”
If it was quiet before, it’s deadly silent now. Everyone looks at one another, glancing in my direction, their lips precariously pressed together, forming lines.
“Right,” I say. That’s all I can get out. I nod at my brother to say both that I understand and that his statement is a fair one to make.
I hope she arrives soon. I need to speak with her. Sort of urgently, I think. I don’t even really know what I want to say. But to be frank, I miss her. I miss being near her. It’s an odd thing, to live in someone’s company and then, suddenly not.
Headlights stream through the front curtains for a split second, then it’s dark again. I wonder if that’s her. I wait, my breathing growing shallow as I stare at my front door with apprehension and hope.
