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“I’m moving the couch against the wall, so you won’t fall off the back when I go down on you. I’ve gotta safety proof the house.”
That’s when I know Jester will be okay. The man I fell for as a teenager was closed off and liked it that way. This Jester is willing to push past his normal tendencies. Not only for me and the baby.He also wants happiness for himself.
“Let’s test out the new couch position,” I say after setting my new figurine next to the first one.
Jester grins at how I tug off my boots and strip out of my jeans. We’ve moved past our earlier barriers. Life won’t be easy from now on, but it’ll sure be simpler.
I’m willing to bend and change for Jester. Compromise doesn’t seem like a cop-out. Babies no longer terrify me. Exposing myself to Jester feels right.
Years ago, I nearly lost my life before I even started living it. I’d been a wild kid playing grown-up. For a long time, I just went through the motions. I loved Jester, but I wasn’t sure what that meant.
Now, I understand him and myself well enough to be sure nothing can break us apart.
JESTER
Idon’t know why myparents ever had kids. They hated parenthood. Maybe they were wired wrong. I know they loved each other, yet they enjoyed the drama of breaking each other’s hearts more.
I understand how they weren’t normal people. I’ve seen good love. I just didn’t think I had a heart capable of doing what others like Papa Bear did.
Loving Talon proved me wrong. But I can’t be the old me if I want to keep her.
That’s why my number one goal is to stop living in the past. I’ve got something good here in the present, and my future looks like it’ll be even better.
However, I let myself keep the past close when it comes to Lando. My boy deserves to be remembered. Few knew him like I did. I’ve got a duty to keep him alive. That’s why I force myself to drag that part of the past into the present.
Another area where I cling to the past is in how I refer to my woman. I just can’t think of Talon as Sister Sass. Everyone around the Sanctuary is pushing to call the new wives by their old lady names. I might refer to Eliza as “Bo Peep,” but I can’t call my woman by her road name.
“You’re my Talon,” I explain to her one night while we watch a Kung Fu movie at the townhome. “That name means something to me. When anyone messed with me in prison, I’d want to lash out and fuck them up. But I’d mentally repeat your name until I remained focused on release. I can’t give it up.”
Talon doesn’t care what I call her. Or how I want her to ride bitch. She’s getting the hang of being my woman rather than a fellow biker.
And I’m getting the hang of thinking of her as my club sister. I enjoy it when we ride side by side. She won’t be able to do so much longer. That’s why we take nightly rides around the Sanctuary.
I love how powerful she looks on her motorcycle. Talon isn’t just the kid I ignored or the teen I thought was weird or the young woman I nearly lost. She’s also this tough biker chick who talks way too much shit and likes to drop by The Lockup to scare the club girls. My woman’s complicated, and I don’t want that to change.
Time moves differently at the Sanctuary. When I spend time with the founders, I feel like nothing’s really changed. For them, life’s been steady for a long time. They’ve built their houses and finished having their kids.
