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Frowning, I think about Talon. “Do they have blue roses?”
“Sure,” the clerk replies.
“That’d be butch,” Bomber says, smirking as he pays with cash.
Even knowing he’s mocking me, I’m relieved to have an answer since I’m sick of talking about flowers. Soon, Bomber and I walk outside to our parked bikes.
“Don’t get Sister Sass drunk for sex,” he says while climbing on his hog. “That might be obvious, but I still figured I’d mention it.”
“Why would it be obvious?”
“She was drugged during the rape. If you get her drunk, she’s going to have that same blurry thinking. Then, when she thinks of you fucking her, it won’t be that different than when they raped her. Keep her clearheaded, even if she’d be more willing while drunk.”
“Anything else?”
“Yeah, do you want a kid?”
Scowling, I step back. “I don’t know.”
“Sister Sass thinks you do. She’s pumping herself up to be a mom. If that’s not something you want, you should get it said now. If you want to make a kid with Sister Sass, be honest. It’ll help her see the future better, instead of getting herself focused on how she can’t handle things right this moment.”
“What did she say exactly when she talked to you?”
Bomber focuses on me in the same way Papa Bear used to when I was trying his patience.
“She was scared. She didn’t want to lose you. She didn’t know how to make you wait. Could I use my magical man words to make you submit to her lady logic?”
A regret strikes me in that moment. I consider how my sister and I lived in the same place for years without speaking. I never turned to her. She couldn’t come to me for advice. We let our hangups keep us from being a family.
Now, I’ll never know the way it feels to have my sister ask for help and for me to drop everything to fix her problem. Even after all those years watching Papa Bear’s kids, I didn’t learn how to be like them. I just stuck with what felt easiest.
I keep thinking I’ve suffered enough for my prize. I waited for Talon before the rape because I didn’t think she was ready. I did seven years to make sure the world didn’t include the men who hurt her. I’ve tried to be patient since getting released. Why should I keep waiting?
Riding behind Bomber on the way back to the Sanctuary, I think about how he’s been happily married for more than a dozen years. He’s still hot for his woman, doesn’t cheat even if he easily could. The guy brings flowers home just because. He puts in the work, even after winning his prize.
I walk into my townhome, realizing I’ve been thinking about shit wrong. I can’t be the real me if I want Talon. That guy doesn’t sacrifice anything. He did those seven years because he was a fucking idiot, not because he had noble intentions. That guy also let Lando go away with his shitty mom. He never reached out to his sister because she got on his nerves. That guy would spend the rest of his life alone and figure it was just meant to be.
I set the flowers on the counter next to the gift bag with the figurine. This is stuff that guy wouldn’t do. It’s what Bomber would do. Or Papa Bear. Maybe even Overlord. They have women who don’t fear them.
I’m not there yet, but I have a plan to win Talon’s trust.
