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“Morning,” I say brightly as he comes to his full height.
He’s a lot bigger than me, but that’s not unusual. Most of the men in this club are like trees.
He mutters back a response, like always, and follows as I head towards the common room. My stomach churns as I get closer, but I don’t let that slide onto my face as I step inside the room.
It’s early, so there are only a handful of people here. I don’t see any old ladies, which shouldn’t relieve me as much as it does. Most of them are being nice to me now, but I still feel uncomfortable around them. Maybe I can eat and get back to the room before anyone turns up.
Ralph trails me into the kitchen, watching as I make my breakfast. My stomach grumbles the entire time, and I don’t know how I can be so hungry all the time. Rage got up at three a.m. to bring me a piece of toast, yet my belly feels as if it never ate that.
I grab my full bowl and walk out into the common room, my mind wandering to Rage. It’s weird how much I miss him when he’s gone from my side.
I claim a table near the door, away from the few people in the room, and eat. Ralph hovers close by but gives me at least the illusion of privacy. Howler and Rage both tell me I’m not a prisoner here, but the constant presence of a guard at my side suggests otherwise. If I’m out of that room, someone is with me. I don’t mind Ralph. He’s one of the more decent prospects. The others don’t like me at all, and they’re not afraid to show me. Ralph’s indifference is far more welcome.
My solitary breakfast is not to be, though. Howler walks into the room, his old lady tucked under his arm draped across her shoulder. Pia is pretty, and the way she lights up for him makes me smile. I wonder if that’s what they see when I’m with Rage.
He stops close to my table, pulling her against him and kissing her as if she is the air that he needs to survive. It makes me miss Rage, something I never thought would happen.
For the past almost month, we’ve been in each other’s pockets, and I’ve come to rely on him. The girls aren’t hostile to me, except for Heidi, but they aren’t my friends either. Hope has talked to me about pregnancy, and she got me the books she promised, so I can do my own reading, and Ophelia has been kind to me. Even Elyse has made an effort, but I suspect it’s for Rage’s benefit, not mine.
It’s for that reason that I try to blend in, making myself small as Pia pulls away from her husband. He rubs a hand over her bottom before he walks away in the direction I now know leads to his office.
What the hell does an MC president need an office for?
I’ve wanted to ask Rage that all week, but these people already think I’m a spy for my father and I don’t want to give them reason to continue suspecting that. Asking questions about Howler and the club isn’t smart.
To my dismay, Pia heads straight for me after saying goodbye to Howler. I wonder if I can shovel my food in faster and make an excuse to leave, but she’s sitting opposite me before I can do anything.
“No Rage today?”
I shake my head, concentrating on eating. “He’s on a run.”
I’ve also learned a run is what the club calls a job. “Listen to you. You sound like a real old lady.”
I try not to react to that. After Rage talked about what it meant, I’ve wanted desperately to become his old lady. In my head, I call him my boyfriend, but I’m not sure that word fits what we are. He makes love to me every opportunity he gets, and he’s told me I’m his, but I’m still a prisoner here, kept behind locked doors only to be brought out when they allow it.
At first, I was happy to play along with whatever they demanded, but after I was attacked, I’ve had a lot more insecurities about my place here. Will I need to be escorted around the building with a newborn baby in my arms? Will they allow me out of that locked room if my child needs something?
I’ve started worrying about other things too. Where are we going to live? I was facing the streets, so the room is an improvement, but I don’t want to raise my child in the clubhouse. I want a nursery with a rocking chair I can sit on to feed my baby. I don’t want to worry about music vibrating the floors on a weekend when the guys party. I also don’t want to think about the number of strangers who come through this building, from out-of-town members to random people Rage calls hangarounds. Not to mention the fact that the man who tried to kill me is still in this building somewhere, leaving me with a sense of unease every time I move through the corridors.
“I’m not an old lady, and I’ll never be one.” I push the cereal around my bowl, my appetite fleeing.
“Are you joking?”
I lift my gaze to hers, her expression surprised.
“I don’t know the ins and outs of how it works, but I do know there’s a vote. You really see me winning that vote?” I arch my brow, which makes hers furrow.
“Everyone knows you’re not here on behalf of your father.”
I can’t stop the flinch at the mention of him. Desmond Richardson controls my life even when he’s not in it.
He’s still looking for me, the bounty he put out increasing each week. Rage won’t tell me what price my father has put on my head, despite me asking, but I get the feeling it’s a lot of money.
Wrapped in our little bubble, it has been easy to forget the world exists beyond the walls of the clubhouse. As much as I don’t want to think about him, Tommy has been on my mind the past few days. Is he still alive? Has his need for vengeance finally caught up with him?
I don’t know where the guys go every day, but I can guess. They’re hunting Pioneers, the men who were once a part of my life, including Tommy, my father, and some of his high-ranking lieutenants.
I close my eyes, breathing through my nose as a wave of nausea washes through me.
