Page 170 of Exiled


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And he’s gone.

I know he is. I feel it in my bones—the absence of him.

It’s not just one gaping hole. It’s a network of carved out caverns spiderwebbed all across my body, where no blood or light can touch.

Bringing my shirt up to my mouth, I stuff so much fabric into my mouth, I gag. Covering my ears, I grit my teeth around my shirt, and I scream.

The heels of my palms dig into my ears with bruising force, and I shake my head like a rabid dog, drooling around my shirt.

Distantly, I’m aware—so terribly aware—of how humiliating this is. There are eyes on me coming from everywhere. I don’t have to see to know they’re there. Like this, I feel it all. Like knives scraping over my flesh, skinning me alive. Sharp teeth ripping at my brain like it’s a piece of meat.

“Go. Get everyone out of here.”

“But Dr. Mad—”

“I have him. He’ll be fine. You’re all making it worse, trust me.”

Sobbing, I hold myself tighter.

Footsteps retreat, crunching over the gravel, slowly but surely fading away.

The eyes linger—but they don’t feel close.Windows,I think.

“Skyler?” Dr. Maddock whispers.

Breathing shakily, I peel my eyes open, and look up through my lashes. I’m still sucking my shirt, and blocking my ears, but I meet her gaze.

Sympathy etches over her face, and more tears spill down my cheeks, soaking my shirt.

I hate this. I’m better than this. Why is this happening?

Dr. Maddock doesn’t try to get me to talk. She sits, and she waits, and when the words finally come, she doesn’t cast judgement. She doesn’t pry.

She’s just…there.

The damp, wrinkled fabric slips out of my mouth, saliva mingling with my tears.

“He’s gone,” I croak, sliding my hands down to my jaw…my neck.

I’m barely aware of Dr. Maddock angling closer.

Shaking my head, I squeeze my eyes shut, squeezing my neck like I could keep the truth in. But it’s no use.

“He’s gone.”

And just like that, I fall forward, burying my face in my hands—gravel biting into my knuckles. I sink into the darkness, withdrawing to where nothing and no one can touch me.

He left me…just like everyone does.

“Why does no one ever want to keep me?” I choke out, my voice breaking off into heaving sobs. Finally giving voice to the question that’s plagued me for my entire existence.

So stupid. So, so stupid, to think this wouldn’t end badly.

This time, there’s no storm—no flurry of chaos. I’m barely aware of Dr. Maddock talking. It doesn’t matter. I just want to shrivel up here and die.

And I realize—

I didn’t keep my promise to him either.

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