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“Of course,” I said, snickering. “I’m not sure I can do it…”
“Try not to place too much importance on my family. I stopped doing what they wanted a long time ago, or I’d be the president of the Christmas Box.” It was his turn to snicker. “I’m sorry if they made you uncomfortable.”
“I’d probably be uncomfortable no matter what. If you can, ignore me.”
I was so relieved leaving the beautiful home that I giggled.
“What?” he asked.
“I’m not normal,” I said. “We should probably get that out of the way from the beginning.”
“I disagree that you’re not normal,” he said. “I won’t judge you for being uncomfortable around strangers.” He took my hand again. “It’s past lunchtime. Are you ready to eat?”
“I’m starved.”
“I have someplace in mind. Do you like home cooking?”
“Yes, like diner food?”
“Exactly. It’s another little out-of-the-way place.”
The dining room included a heated enclosed porch and a fireplace with a crackling fire. The room was so cozy and inviting, I settled in my chair and didn’t want to move. The server brought coffee. I wrapped my hands around the cup for its warmth.
“It’s winter already,” I groaned. “My least favorite season.”
“Because of Christmas?”
“Not entirely.”
I had to decide to tell Flynn about Lucy or try to move beyond it. The anniversary of her death was fast approaching. Everyone in my family was attempting to move forward, to get a little normalcy. Everyone but me.
I felt like my grandfather was nosing in where he had no business, and bringing a tree to decorate was stepping out of bounds. To him, it was just a holiday that had lost any of its deeper meaning and was all about commercial trappings. Flynn’s family was key in making that happen. Lots of decorations and tons of Santas everywhere you looked and not a nativity scene in sight.
Having a tree felt like a betrayal of Lucy. The trappings of Christmas were smirking at the pain she had been in that had been ignored until it was too late.
“I need to tell you something that will be a downer.”
“The way we met was a downer,” Flynn said earnestly. “Think about it. After that, we should be able to talk about anything.”
“This is much worse. I don’t want to ruin the day.”
“Bella, life is hard. I don’t need to have a stress-free day in order to move on, okay? I want to know all about you. Monday, I go back to work, and the thing that is propelling me forward is knowing that at the end of the day, you’ll be available. Is that thinking too far in advance?”
“No! Not at all. I will be available.”
He was planning on me being in his life when it returned to normal. I surprised myself, vacillating between wanting to flee from any kind of commitment and wanting to be with him.
“Anyway, I’m a twin. Iwasa twin.”
He didn’t say anything at first, cocking his head to the side. I sat back in my chair with a sigh, wondering how much I was going to tell him. “I don’t even know where to start.”
“We have the rest of our lives,” he said. “Start at the beginning.”
“Are you sure you want to hear all of this?”
“I’m sure. I’m interested in everything there is to know about you. I can’t imagine another girl who looks like you.”
He grinned, and I wanted to end the conversation there and let it be happy. Yes, another me. But not really.
