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“Um, Big band.”
“No.” I say. They all laugh again.
“Mostly Michael Bublé, but the old crooners too. Cranked them way up while she baked. Sometimes she and Ty would dance and sing al—“
“I got it!” I yell. “All you fuckers stop watching my house. From now on. No hacking at my security and watching me and definitely not watching my wife. I mean it.” They all nod. “Understood, assholes?”
“Understood, damn.” Gailo yells back. “O was right. You really are a mess.”
Van coughs in agreement.
I flip them the double bird. “Van, I’m flipping you off!” I yell and then kill the connection.
Time to get to work.
CHAPTER 48
Eleanna
One week. I can do this. I haven’t confirmed with Mark about when and what will happen, but I’ve been watching the calendar. He’ll keep his word. Or his team will. I delivered for them, now I get out.
Out.
Out of my life but to what? To where? I’ve looked at apartments online, but haven’t been able to bear the thought of going to look at one alone. Mia isn’t home for weeks and I can’t ask her to come down for a visit just for that.
And Luna. I haven’t been able to talk to her. She texted to say she didn’t know about the abduction, that she was sorry and on a rampage to figure everything out. I miss her.
I miss Mark too.
I know part of me doesn’t want to leave him. To leave his house which I do feel is my house now. And Ty and Carmen and Ric. Our life. A part of me wants to stay. A weak part, I guess.
I gave Mark my all and he sneered at it. He didn’t want a life with me. I’m better off with a new life. An apartment or a little house and my bakery. It will be better.
So why am I always crying?
So much effing crying.
I was just with Raul at the bakery, trying to get excited. Trying to pick colors, themes, names. Anything to spark a thrill for the place. I FaceTimed Mia. Ty brought food. They all had so many wonderful ideas and so much excitement. But for me, no spark ever came.
It’s a wonderful idea and it was a really kind gesture. Kind and thoughtful, but Mark was clearly setting me up for my new life. The one after our divorce. He was clear from the start, so this is my fault for seeing more in him and wanting more with him. For falling for him.Ugh.
AaaandI’m sniffing again. Raul doesn’t know what to do with me. I know he’s eyeing me in the rear view mirror. What can I say? I don’t want to go home, but also don’t want to leave home? I am a mess!
I’m surprised when we pull into the drive because the lights are on in the house. I usually time my day so that I am not eating meals at home alone, which is way too sad, but not home late enough that I might run into Mark. He gets in between nine and eleven most nights. It’s only 7:30.
I grow weepy again at the idea that he’s home. Because then I’ll have to see him and his gorgeous face and his perfect hair. I thought he might kiss me last week at the bakery. It was just a second. I may be wrong. Either way, I bolted. Because if that man so much as licks his lips at me, my legs spread of their own volition. It’s science. And I can’t fight science. I also can’t let my heart go through another, well,convenience fuck,for lack of any other term.
Which is why home, with him in it, makes me sniffly.
“Señorita?” Raul asks me.
“Oh!” I startle. “How long have I been sitting here staring at my house?”
“Long enough for me to wonder if the senator is…” he grips the steering wheel hard.
“No! No, Mark would never hurt me. I’m just, still getting over…everything.”
Raul nods. I don’t think he believes me, but he doesn’t press. I appreciate that about him. I shake myself out of my stupor and tell my sweet guard goodnight. With a deep inhale, I head inside the side door I always use. It leads into the kitchen and I tread carefully.
