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“What?”
Robbie grimaces. “It appears she does not drink coffee. She prefers tea.”
All of them freeze for a second before laughing hysterically.
“That can’t be right, I have made her coffee like fifty times, she always drinks it.” I put my head in my hands.
Gailo finally stops laughing. “Because she loves you, and you,Pollo,are an asshole.”
“Yes!” Van yells.
I hate my life.
“I stand by what I said before, man.” Robbie says. “She just doesn’t have much data. She buys clothes, cookbooks and baking supplies. A lot of baking supplies. Which, by the way, how did that go?”
“How’d what go?” Zander asks, still snickering at me.
“He bought her a bakery.” Robbie explains. “Pretty solid grand gesture, I thought.”
“What?” Gailo does a double take. “Then what the hell are we doing on this call?”
“Didn’t go well.”
“No, it didn’t.” I agree with Zander. “She liked it, but she didn’t love it. And she talked about it as if she wasn’t sure she’d get it in the divorce she still wants.” They all wince. “Yeah. So. Anything remotely helpful from any of you shitheads would be great.”
“You said clothes, what about jewelry?” Zander asks.
“I already spent a small fortune on her engagement ring and wedding band. How do I top that?”
I stop to think, and they do too.
“Does she collect anything? Bags, shoes, I don’t know, porcelain dolls or some shit?” Gailo asks, rubbing his chin. I shake my head.
Robbie thinks out loud. “He bought her her rings, a car, and a bakery. Which also counts as a grand gesture. And she’s already had an engagement party and a wedding.”
“No, no, no.” Van’s gruff voice says.
“Listen, Van, we don’t know what the hell you’re trying to say.”
Zander surprises us all. “I think he means no to more stuff, more surprises.” Van coughs in agreement.
“Time for the rom in the bad romcom shit, bro.” Gailo grins.
“Romance?” I ask.
“What else are you left with?” Robbie scratches his head, literally. “I mean, you’ve been with this girl for what, six months? What does she want?”
…Me.
She wanted me. I start to get a scratchy feeling in my throat and have to stop myself from sniffing.Fucking sniffing? I can’t stand this.
“Robbie, what about chocolates or flowers?”
“Dark chocolate salted caramel seems to be a favorite. She’s bought a few different varieties. Flowers, it’s hard to say, women don’t buy those for themselves.”
“She had a shit ton at that wedding.” Zander offers. I nod. It’s a place to start.
“What about these, something like this, but in red?” I wonder out loud and then shoot Robbie a text. He orders a few options to arrive the next day. “Books. Send me links to all the books she’s been reading. And what about music? She always had this place filled with my music when I got home.” Robbie makes yet another face. “What, Rob? What’d she have on when I wasn’t here?”
