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“We’re not worthy.” Mia whispers.
I roll my eyes at that before shaking my head at Luna. “And your vision board? What’s on it, exactly?”
“A crown, of course. Papá wants to hand everything he’s worked for over to his idiot enforcer Bosco. Ummm, how about no. I’m going to marry said idiot and take over the business myself.”
“Yas, Queen.” Mia says, still whispering.
“Not the Queen. The Boss.” Luna corrects her.
Mia squeals as if she’s happy about that idea, making me jerk my head at her. “Really, you want her to be a boss in the mafia you hate so much?” She rolls her eyes at me. I look back at my friend. “And you, I hope you know what you’re doing, Luna. Our world is run by men. For centuries.”
“And what, dear bestie, brings men to their knees time and time again throughout the ages?” She smiles. “Women.” I sigh but she puts a hand on my shoulder. “I know what I’m doing. You prepared your whole life for the role you wanted, well, I have done the same.”
“I know you’ve said you want to be powerful but…”
“There are never any great power shifts without risk. And I’m being careful, I promise.” I nod as she goes on. “And you two should be too. El, I’m sure Mark will up your security. Mia, don’t mess around right now, like, try to slip your guards or sneak out. Wait until everything goes back to normal.”
“Yes, your majesty.” Mia bows dramatically.
“The two of you will be the death of me.” I chuckle, turning back to a bowl of batter.
“And these scone cronut biscuit things will be the death of me. So good.” Luna hums. We all laugh and move on to easier, happier topics.
But my mind stays on the border and my giant dowry and all the secrets my husband keeps. If we’re on the same team, why do I know nothing about his goals, his work? I guess many wives don’t know much about the jobs their husbands hold. Men leave in the morning and come back tired and what do they do in between? Who are they during those hours? What dominates their thoughts the majority of their day, of their life?
More than all of that, I shudder at the idea of moresoldadosaround. I know I need the protection but I hate the watching, the lingering. I know not all of Papá’s soldiers are likehim,but they so often give the same vibe, the same aura. They’re all hidden behind their masks of duty, mission, obligation. I’d rather deal with more of Mark’s secret service men.
Not that they’re much different. My husband stays hidden too, though in a harder sort of way. A colder way.
After last night, I’m worried even intimacy—if he even lets us eventually have sex— won’t get through his icy walls. I thought I saw something soften in him, but after he’d found the release he needed, it was gone. Evaporated like the connection I’d felt was a fine mist, if ever there at all.
I work to keep my shoulders from sagging in defeat as I swirl the spoon through the batter.
I take in my friend who is about to fly back to Chicago, to her world that she plans to overtake. I’m sure she’ll succeed. She’ll rule her own empire and see her dreams realized. I think of the cute kids from last night, the way Mamá watched me. The vision I had for myself and my future.
Will I realize my own dreams?
Mark has made his terms clear, but can I simply move on and build a life with someone else?
Do I want to?
Do I want someone else’s eyes on me like that?
Someone else’s big hands and hot breath and coarse voice?
I don’t know.
But I know one thing. I want more with Mark.
A lot more.
CHAPTER 21
Mark
“I’m not so sure about this, sobrino.”Fausto puffs out from behind his fat cigar.
“Why not? You use these tags on your vehicles, you go through the utility lane at the checkpoint. Your drivers won’t even be stopped.” Fausto chuckles and Renaldo joins like a good lap dog, and Renaldo’s even smaller dog, Arlo, follows suit. I smile and raise my eyebrows.
