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If I hand my heart to him, he’ll break it. Maybe even intentionally. A partnership is manageable, predictable. I’m afraid of anything past that. I’m afraid…afraid I am actually falling in love with my husband.
CHAPTER 23
Mark
“You know what I’m saying, Senator?”
I smile at the lobbyist. “Absolutely, I do.”I don’t.I have no idea what you’ve been saying, numbnuts.
No, instead I’ve been fuckingdaydreaming.About mywife.
I am going to die.
I’m going to literally die because of a woman.
I sent a text on the channel that’s supposed to be silent. I slipped with her and rattled something off in Spanish. I think it was Spanish. I was high on the sight of her spread out on the table for me.
After I stormed to my room and ate what was yet another delicious meal, I remembered her phone and the one million texts. I didn’t say anything about Zeno or his brothers. I’m sure there are more men on there. Men waiting in the wings for when I end this.
Which is what I want. What needs to happen. But the idea pisses me off now, whereas it calmed me before. I’m distracted, irritable, a menace to myself, the mission.
And I’m almost jumpy. The border wall is almost finished, the pieces are on the board, ready to move into play. Yet my mask has slipped a few times.
Yup. I’m dead.
I manage to focus throughout the morning. I keep my plastic smile in place until I slip into my town car. I tell Ric to take me home, rather than the club or to another meeting.
“Uh, home now, boss?” Ric says, skittish.
“Yes… Something going on at home, Ric?” I stare him down and he avoids eye contact in the rearview mirror. He moves to pick up his phone. “Don’t even think about it.” I snap. “You are not going to warn someone at my house that I’m on my way. I look forward to surprising the fucker. He picked the wrong day to mess with me.”
Ric doesn’t really react. I’m not sure what to make of it. It takes everything in me not to text Robbie for intel. But I’m supposed to wait for him to make contact, which I already messed up in the last few days since I tasted my wife.
It’s not a long drive to the house. Ric is visibly uncomfortable but says nothing. I grow uncomfortable too, seeing my brand-new Audi lurching along my street.
“The fuck?” I say needlessly. Obviously, if there’s an issue, it’s because of my wife.
My wife, in my car, with her guard, Raul. I tried to put one of my black ops men on her and she refused. She insisted that Raul be the only one to drive her, escort her, be close to her. He’s an older, ugly son of a bitch so I didn’t really think much of it. Which is stupid of me, as if an ugly fucker can’t be loved. Loved by my wife, apparently the most loving creature alive.
And now I’m looking at them laughing, and I’m thinking something of it. I’m thinking a hell of a lot of it. She’s gripping the steering wheel and laughing so hard I watch her remove a hand to wipe actual tears from her eyes.
Damn, she’s breathtaking.
The whole car is glowing. I never see her light up like that.
But I don’t deserve to. I can’t afford to. I can’t be the one to do that with her, for her. But I sure as hell don’t want it to be fuckingRaul.I get out and open the driver’s side door.
“What’s this,sweetheart?”I say, barely hiding my anger.
“I wanted to learn how to drive.” She says, still giggly.
“Inmycar?”
She laughs again, “Well, I don’t have one of my own. But…” She looks to Raul. “I think it’s hopeless anyway.”
“No,princesa,keep trying. You’ll get it.” The old geezer says to her like he’s fucking in love with her.
I slam the door in Eleanna’s face and move around to his side. I yank the passenger door so hard I’m surprised it doesn’t fly off. “I’ll take it from here, Raul. Thanks.”
