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“Fu—” I cover my mouth but it’s too late. The curse word is already out.
“More of Bo’s influence.” Dad sighs heavily. “Good thing he’s leaving tomorrow.”
Wisely, I keep my mouth shut about the agreement Bo and I have made to keep in touch. I just hope my dad doesn’t use the passcode to open my phone.
“How long are you keeping my phone?” With no books to read and no phone, it’s going to be only my laptop for entertainment.
“Two weeks,” he says grimly.
“Oh no.” My eyes widen. I’ve never been punished that long.
“It’s less about the actual offense,” he says. “And more that you’re not owning up to the fact that you lied to me.”
“Right.” I swallow hard.
What happened downstairs isn’t my truth to tell. I might not have another friend outside of Harmony, but I know friends have each other’s backs and keep each other’s secrets.
Dad’s light brown eyes narrow. “We can’t build the closeness I want between us if you aren’t honest with me.”
My throat gets tighter.
I want to be close to my dad, but I want to be Bo’s friend too. He understands me, and I think I understand him. But being friends with Bo and getting closer to my dad are desires that seem destined to be at odds with each other.
“Nothing more to say?” My dad’s frown deepens.
“I messed up.” I twist my hands together. “I’ll do better.”
My skin burns at the way he is looking at me. He said that he wants me to feel like I belong in our home, but I don’t, and I’m afraid I never will when the standard for me seems to be perfection.
“Okay, Peace.” He clucks his tongue in displeasure but comes to my side of the bed and kisses the top of my head. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
I want to throw my arms around him and beg for his forgiveness, but I don’t.
Tears prick my eyes as I watch him leave my room. The door clicks closed.
It seems that a chapter between me and my dad has closed. Suddenly, my room feels too small and too quiet. My heart thuds painfully inside my tight chest, and my thoughts remain unsettled. But then I remember Bo’s text. I can’t think about me. Bo needs me.
I untwist my hands and try to think of something to do to pass the time until I can meet Bo outside. Glancing at the digital clock, I see that there are hours to go. Without reading or my phone, those hours are going to feel like days.
Sighing, I get up and go to my desk. At least I can write in my notebook and listen to music on my computer.
Much later, my timer goes off. I take off my headphones and listen. The house is completely quiet.
I locate my waterproof boots. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I put them on. My insulated parka, wool cap, and gloves are next. Dressed for the weather, it’s going to be obvious where I’m going if I’m caught.
Do I want to risk being caught?
I bite down on my lip and stare at my closed door. There’s not a specific rule about not going outside the house after a certain time, but I know it’s wrong. I know my dad wouldn’t like it.
But this is my last chance to talk to Bo alone. He’s leaving tomorrow. I’m a different person when Bo’s around. I’m stronger. I don’t want to return to being the person I was before.
My decision is already made. Standing, I head to the door.
* * *
“I wasn’t sure you would come.”
Bo stands as I slip outside. With the dark firepit behind him, he walks toward me. His footsteps crunch on the snow. It melted some in the sun and has refrozen. It’s shiny and smooth, a crystalline white surface all around us except for the pathway from the house.
