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This poor guy is also in glitter, everywhere, shimmering so that there’s no way you could ever miss him. We apparently have a theme. I wonder what we ever did to deserve such an injustice as the eight eyed figure stares at us.
Eric screams.
Lucas jumps behind him.
And whoever it is just goes. “They want us on set, in five.”
His voice sounds like another TestME member.
A cowboy walks by him and pauses. “Nice legs.”
Yeah that’s definitely Kai’s voice but cowboys? He’s afraid of cowboys?
This is definitely a deep dive into the psyche of all the guys… I don’t really know if I ever wanted to delve so deeply, but I guess now we have no other choice.
“Bite me!” Spiderman yells making all of his legs bounce around him, yeah nobody is happy today.
Shit.
I’m just so sick of it all and I’m sick of following rules that on most days just make no sense. I understand that money makes the world go around and there’s a formula to all of this, but come on?
I understand the success I have is all due to my fans first, my label next, but I would just like one damn choice for myself. I’d like the option, the fucking human right to just be me. To tell the world that I’m not in high school anymore, that I like sex. That I think about sex with one particular woman all the fucking time. That I curse. That I want to eat ramen and carbs. And chips. I love Doritos. I want to tell the world that I express myself through my tattoos. That my music moves me. That the lyrics mean something. That I’m just as fucked up as the rest of them. That I have all the hang ups that any other twenty-year-old man has. That I fucking make mistakes. That my life isn’t perfect and I do go to bed at night with anxiety, even though I’m an idol.
And yeah, that I want to burn this fucking bow off my costume!
Right. The Hell. Now.
“Whoa.” Eric says under his breath.
“What?” I snap.
Lucas sighs. “Yeah, you said all of that out loud.”
My mouth drops open.
“All of it?” I wonder as I think over the rant in my head.
Eric nods his head.
“Shit, I do not belong on live tv today.” I whisper in horror. “I don’t know what my issue I sorry, um, sorry, let’s just follow the fucking spider.”
Follow the spider, that’s where I’m at right now. I’m officially living in the upside down.
Lucas is quiet as Eric walks by and prances toward set. “I know why.”
“It’s not sexual frustration.” I snap out exactly what it is.
He smiles over at me. “Nah, it’s worse, it’s love.”
That’s all he says, leaving me in my stupid costume staring after him, knowing I’ll have to face an ex girlfriend, aggressive fans, and the girl I love the most, the girl I want to stand by, the girl that hurts me over and over again whether intentionally or not.
The girl that I keep telling myself isn’t worth it, yet I know the truth—she is and will always be everything to me. I wish it was a crush. I wish it was infatuation. It would be so much easier if I just wanted something physical.
But I want her heart.
And I want it next to mine. I want her on top of me. Underneath me. Sideways. In front of me. I want to take showers with her. I want to run my hands over her body. I want to watch her lips part from pleasure.
I want to taste her.
