AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Oh, honey.” The sympathy on her face nearly did me in and it took everything I had not to burst into tears all over again. “When was the last time you bathed?”
“Or cleaned?” Marin asked.
“Or peeled yourself off that sofa?” Layla tacked on.
The answer to all those questions would be the same.
“I don’t know,” I mumbled around the half-eaten Swiss Roll I found tucked between my cushions. “What’s today?”
McKenna held her hands up “Nope. No. No way.” She shook her head as she rounded the coffee table littered with junk and grabbed my hand. “This is unacceptable.” She tugged, giving me no choice but to stand up. I’d been lying for so long my legs wobbled and I almost went down. Was it possible my muscles were already starting to atrophy?
“I’ll tell you what’s about to happen. You’re going to go in your room and take a shower, making sure toscrub everywhere. You’re going to wash your hair at least twice to get all that damn grease out, and while you do that, we’re going to straighten up in here.”
“I think this may be beyond our capabilities,” Hardin said. “This looks and smells like a job for a professional.” She looked around at our friends. “Anyone have the number for one of those cleaning services that comes in after a gruesome homicide?”
McKenna didn’t pay her any mind. She kept shoving me toward my bedroom. “When you get out, we’re going to sit down and talk. You’re going to tell us what happened between you and Roan, and we’re going to help you figure out a way to fix it.” She reached up and cupped my cheeks in her hands. “Deal?”
I sniffled, my eyes growing misty. “Deal,” I croaked as I wiped at my nose with the back of my hand.
She shoved me into my bathroom and pulled the door closed, giving me some privacy while she went back out into the den of disaster and got to work. Any other time and I might have felt ashamed at my friends witnessing the state of my life, but I was too heartbroken to care.
I hadn’t thought it was possible, but I actually hurt more this time than I had when Roan and I broke up ten years ago. At least back then I’d had that stupid T-shirt to wrap myself in, that small piece of him I’d been able to keep with me. I didn’t have that this time around. No, this time, he was gone from my life completely.
I turned and caught my reflection in the mirror for the first time since I got home and discovered he was gone. I barely recognized the woman staring back at me. My normally thick, shiny hair hung in limp clumps. The dark purple bags under my eyes gave the appearance of being sunken in. My normally tanned, dewy complexion was dull and sallow.
“Ugh, Alma. You look like a hot freaking mess.” I turned the shower on as hot as I could take it and stripped naked, tossing the soiled clothes in the hamper when I probably should have thrown them right in the trash.
I stood under the spray until the water went from scalding to lukewarm, then I scoured myself with a shower poof and half a bottle of body wash and scrubbed my hair three times.
By the time I got out of the shower I actually felt halfway normal. As much as I wanted to throw on another pair sweats so I could go curl back up in front of the television, I forced myself to go through my rigorous skincare routine, then slapped a couple serum patches beneath my eyes as I brushed and flossed my teeth. With that done, I lotioned and moisturized before finally getting dressed and heading back out to join my friends.
I startled at the state of my living room. Before I’d gotten into the shower it looked like a tornado had hit it, now, you could never tell I’d destroyed it with neglect the past few days.
“Wow,” I breathed. “Thank you.” Emotion clogged my throat, the lengths my friends went to moved me so much my eyes began to water for the millionth time in recent days. “You guys are the best,” I squeaked right before a sob ripped from my chest.
“Oh lord.” Marin reached for me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “The dam has officially broken, ladies.” She led me over to the couch and plopped me down, taking the cushion beside me. “Start talking,” she ordered.
“Yeah.” Hardin sat down on the coffee table in front of me and leaned forward to take my hands. “We can’t help you if you don’t talk to us.”
She was right, and I needed all the help I could get, so I told them everything. They’d already known when Roan and I had started back up again, because for that week and a half, I hadn’t been able to hide my incredible mood. But I shared with them what had happened on the last day, on the fight we got into before Roan left me. I told them all about how scared I’d been, how I’d let that fear dictate everything, refusing to let Roan voice his feelings.
They listened quietly, hanging on my every word. It wasn’t until I told them how Roan had accused me of running every time I got scared that McKenna spoke up.
“Was he right?” she asked. “About you running. Was he right?”
I nodded my head. “Yes,” I whispered as a single tear slid down my cheek. “He was right.” But it was more than that. After I lost him for the second time, I realized it wasn’t only since he’d come back into my life that I’d been running. Everything I had been doing for the past decade was my way of trying to outrun the past. I ran when I left Nashville. Every time I swore I’d never get married. Every one-night stand and random hookup. That was me running. Hiding. Keeping those walls up between me and the rest of the world.
“I’ve been so desperate to protect my heart, I’ve done everything wrong. I haven’t protected myself from anything. All I’ve done is guarantee I’ll never live more than a half life.”
“So what are you going to do about it?” Layla asked. My friends were here now, to have my back and lift me up, to do whatever it was I needed them to do.
“I’m...” The idea hit me like a wrecking ball, and as soon as it did, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt it was the right thing. “I’m going to Nashville,” I announced, determination steeling my spine. “And I’m going to get the love of my life back.”
“Hell yeah you are!” Sloane jumped up and thrust her fist in the air. “Now go pack. And make sure you grab some really slutty underwear.”
“I’ll book your ticket,” Charlotte offered.
Hardin spoke next. “And I’ll cat-sit for you.”
