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“I’m begging you, Eva. Don’t do this.” His lips hover inches from mine. I almost let him kiss me. Almost. But the betrayal would run too deep. My husband isn’t even cold in the ground yet. No, I can’t do this.
“I’m sorry, Vin.” Pulling away from him, I turn and head into the bathroom needing some space to breathe.
31
Nightmares come and the rest of the night is useless. I flip and flop in the bed trying to get comfortable, but every time I close my eyes I can see it. The blood. The crimson that stained my dress. It’s a never ending cycle. Maybe when this is all over I’ll be able to sleep again. I shove to my feet and head into the quiet hallway and walk toward the office. I don’t know why, but I gravitate to that room. Maybe it’s because that’s where Dom used to spend his time. I don’t know.
Stepping inside, I’m not shocked to see Vin sitting in the chair in front of the desk.
“Night drinking?” I ask. He lifts his head and looks over his shoulder at me and smiles.
“Couldn’t sleep?”
“No.” I walk around and take the bottle from his hand bringing it to my lips and taking a long pull. I lean against the desk in front of Vin and pass the bottle back.
“Seems this room holds too many memories.”
“You were friends your whole life,” I remind him.
“He was a strong kid back then. We always knew he’d be something more. He had a good head on his shoulders.”
“He was a good man.”
“In more ways than one.” Vin shoves to his feet, caging me in with his arms around me, palms resting on the desk.
“What are you doing?”
“Do you think he’d forgive me?” I’m about to open my mouth and ask for what when he leans in and kisses me. This time I don’t pull away. I let him kiss me. It’s wrong but I’ve missed someone touching me. Loving me. I let my hands slide around his neck pulling him closer. His lips caress mine as his tongue sneaks into my mouth. We struggle for dominance when something hits me. I can’t do this. It isn’t him. I break our kiss and shove Vin back a few steps, my fingers coming to my lips.
“It’s okay, Eva.”
“No, it’s not. I can’t…”
“You can. We can do this. We’re both adults and he isn’t here. Do you feel something for me? Anything?” I can’t lie to him and say no. I do feel something for him but I don’t know what it is. I’m confused, hurting. I don’t know what’s right or wrong anymore.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper as I brush past him. He doesn’t let me get that far. He grabs my wrist and pulls me back into him. Then he presses me against the wall and holds me there. His breathing is sporadic, his eyes dancing between mine.
“Don’t be sorry. Say you feel something for me,” he nearly begs me. I can’t do this. I can’t give him what he wants, not now.
“Vin, I can’t.”
“You can. Just say the words, Eva. Say them.” He’s begging me to say something that I’m not sure of. “I won’t give up on you.” I gasp at his words before his lips are on mine again. His kiss isn’t as rough as Dom’s. His kiss is gentle, sweet. His hands come up to cradle my face as heat courses through my veins. It’s been so long. Months of not having Dom holding me and now here’s Vin, doing exactly that.
I let the kiss go on a little longer before I pull away from him. His eyes are burning through me as I push gently at his chest. He steps back and allows me to move past him and I do. I run down the hallway and back into the bedroom closing the door behind me. It doesn’t take long for him to show up. I didn’t think it would. The door opens and he walks in, running his hand through his hair.
“I’m sorry,” he says.
“You shouldn’t be. I was there too.”
“You don’t want me,” he says sounding defeated.
“It isn’t like that. I care about you Vin, I do but this is too much too fast.” He nods his head as if he understands before coming to sit next to me on the bed.
“I know, but I’m not going anywhere and I won’t take it any further,” he says brushing my hair over my shoulder. I turn to look at him and smile.
“Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me. If I was a nicer man I would wait.”
