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Brooklyn
We make it back to our table just as Savvy walks up on the platform and takes the microphone.
“I have had more changes and met more people that I have come to love since I have moved to Mississippi than I have my entire life. When I made the decision to stay at a particular hotel, I was blessed to meet Peter, and when he called me to meet him at a jewelry store, I wanted to know who the hell this woman was that had him ready to propose, and then I met her. Lennox was his match in every way, and after he told me about their past, I understood even more. But once I met Lennox, I fell in love with her too. She is an amazing woman and smarter than anyone I know, so when she announced she was retiring, and Peter said he was going to throw her a retirement party, I knew I had to get involved, but when he let slip her guilty pleasure, I enlisted my fellow sisters to put together something I am sure she will never forget.
Now Lennox, since this is for you, you will give the deciding factor if the crowd votes a tie. There are notepads and pencils at each table; everyone has to vote and place your vote in the box on the table. Peter will count the votes, and there will be a crowned winner. So please sit back, relax, and enjoy the Gideon version ofLip Sync Battle.”
I look over to Lennox, and she is freaking out, clapping and bouncing in her seat. The lights dim, and I turn to Aryan, “I’ll be back,” I tell Aryan and head to the back to change into my outfit. The retractable door that separates the ballroom opens, revealing a stage with spotlights and props. The curtain pulls back, revealing Skai, Megan, and Praise in army fatigue outfits and a jungle setup. The music comes on, and it’sDestiny’s Child’s Survivorplaying. Skai is the lead, Megan is the second, and Praise is the third lead singer. They dance and sing like they areDestiny’s Child. I rush to change my clothes since I am on stage next. T’Aundrea’s wife, Angie, is the MC, and she is hyping the crowd up. I can hear them yelling, whistling, and clapping from the changing room. I rush to get dressed so I can look out front to see Lennox and the guys. Lennox is on her feet singing with them, and the guys are supporting their women. Anson is yelling for Megan like she is in a real-life concert. Shepp is taking pictures like he’s the paparazzi. Skai's date is much more subdued in his support; he’s basically just clapping in his seat and singing along. The song comes to an end, and the room erupts in applause, and I am next on stage.
“The next performers on stage have some big shoes to fill after that performance! Now feel free to write down your notes from this performance so that when it is time to vote, you can do so with confidence because I promise you the decision is going to be crazy hard,” Angie says to the audience, and I scurry back to my spot so I can be in place when the music starts.
“Alright, I hope you are ready cause next on stage are Brooklyn, Carla, and Mel, aka TLC!”
The curtains pull back, andTLC’s Ain’t Too Proud to Begbegins to play. I am T-Boz, Carla is
Left Eye, and Mel is Chili. We have oversized pants and tee shirts with condoms hanging from our hats and glasses as we dance around the stage beingTLCand having a ball doing it.
Aryan, Asher, and Saint are laughing, clapping, dancing, and yelling. I, for one, am glad I am on vitamins because all this dancing would have had me asleep in seconds. Aryan’s baby is a super parasite, and more often than not, I can go to sleep instantly. My stomach is still flat, well, my version of flat. I am a plus-size girl, but I have a feeling that when this baby pops, I am going to be as big as a house. Soon, our performance is over, and I am out of breath. I do not know how we used to do those dance moves and not break something.
“Now that’s what I am talking about! That brought back memories of Prom 93! Now remember there are 5 group performances, and only two would make it through. So, make sure you are keeping notes because the competition is only going to get worse! I head out to where Aryan is in my outfit to watch the last three performances.
“Alright, now this one is going to be one for the record books, and I am glad we are recording this tonight so I can look back at it and take my own notes. If you want a copy, it’s going to be $19.99 for a copy,” she says, making everyone laugh. “Okay! Coming to the stage are True, Parker, and Eliza, aka Salt N Pepa with Spinderalla!
“Now this ought to be fun,” I say to Aryan, and he shakes his head agreeing as we watch three of the most lethal women in the western hemisphere take the stage wearing black one-piece jumpsuits with red suede knee-high boots, eight-ball jackets, dookie necklaces, and the famous asymmetrical hairstyles. Eliza goes behind the table with turntables on them like she is the real Spinderella. They are straight out of the eighties. Two seconds later, the infamous notes ofPush Itcome on, and they all start dancing. Atlas and Jaasiel are acting like true fans; they are at the front of the stage, hollering, dancing, and behaving like they are at a concert. As a matter of fact, almost all of the attendees are on their feet dancing with them. When the song is over, everyone is chanting more, more, more! And I cannot blame them. True and Parker killed it, doing all of the dance moves, dropping to the floor, and getting back up dancing like they are in a music video.
“I know we aren’t going to make it to the next round after seeing that,” I say to Aryan.
“I don’t know about that. Y’all did an amazing job. I’m voting for you.”
“Thanks, baby,”
“You don’t have to thank me.”
“Whew,am I the only one who feels like we just took a trip in the Delorian withMarty McFlyto the '90s and were at aSalt N Pepaconcert? They should have sold tickets to that show! And that’s why I told y’all to take notes. There are two more performances left, and I am sure they are not going to disappoint. Okay, so next on stage is Emerson and Isabella, as Missy Elliott and Aaliyah.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me! I can’t wait to see this shit!” Aryan says in my ear.
“You and me both,” I say to him, my eyes riveted to the stage.
Isabella is dressed like Aaliyah very convincingly, might I add, and Emerson is an amazing-looking Missy Elliott. The song starts, and the first strands ofIf Your Girl Only Knewbegin playing. She must have studied Aaliyah hard because she has all her dance moves and is executing them flawlessly. With the black leather doo-rag, black leather crop top, black leather pants, and black boots, Isabella did not come to play. Emerson has on an all-blackAddidas™outfit with matching sneakers and a hat. Together, they are killing it.
“We’re going to take a small break before the last performers take the stage,” Angie says when their performance is over.
The party is everything we planned it to be, and Lennox is having the time of her life watching our lip sync show.
“You guys didn’t tell us you were doing this for Lennox. I am sure my brothers and I would have loved to participate,” Aryan remarks.
“Yep, and you guys would have definitely taken over. Y’all are way too competitive, and we just wanted a fun show for Lennox,” I reply.
“Fair enough,” he concedes.
“Well, I hope you all got a cold drink and some fresh air because now it is time for the final act, and you are not ready for them. After their performance, we will tally the votes, and the group with the highest votes will go head-to-head. Whoever wins that match-up will become our Lip Sync Battle champions! So, buckle up cause it’s time for grown and sexy! These women got sexy and knowledge by the pound! And I know that for a fact because my wife is one of them,” Angie says, smiling hard. “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the stage, T’Aundrea, Joyce, Bree, and Savvy, akaEnVogue!” The lights go out as the curtain pulls back to reveal Joyce standing in a black dress, white pantyhose, black shoes, and an honest-to-god French roll hairstyle. Savvy, Bree, and T’Aundrea are playing backup singers and dancers. The beat drops, and they begin dancing and lip-syncing, and they are so flawless with it that we all forget they are not actually singing the damn song. They spin, dance, shake their ass, and generally kill their performance. It is so different seeing it with costumes and props. This was so much fun to do. I think we should recreate it for Christmas or some other family event and include the kids next time.
When they finish, everyone erupts with applause, including me and Aryan. “Y’all really did an amazing job with this. It was a great idea,” Aryan says.
“Well, that’s how you end a competition! Now that you have seen it all, it’s time to vote! If you have been paying attention and taking notes, you should be able to choose who your favorite was. So grab your pen and….”
“If I can interrupt,” Josh says, walking over to Angie. “They haven’t seen everyone yet.” Angie looks at him with confusion, “Who are we missing?”
