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But I had had to accept that this was the right thing to do here. I cared about Evie and this was what she wanted.

Until now.

I had a shower and thought about the response I wanted to send.

I thought more about that one sentence than I had thought about email messages to the heads of companies, the bosses at multimillion dollar corporations I wanted to do business with. Only a few words, but they were important, like messengers from the gods, they had to carry a very important message which I had to code in innocuous words, seemingly meaningless phrases. I had to make it sound like a joke, the way she had, use humor to mask my feelings. But it had to be clear that I appreciated her text and wanted to take it further, without coming on too strong.

This called for subtlety.

Not my strongest point.

So I soaped myself, I washed myself thoroughly, then I turned up the heat and at the last minute, blasted myself with cold water, waking myself up completely.

I needed every ounce of brain power I had here.

But it was hard, I couldn’t find the right tone. The things I wanted to say, the emotion I wanted to convey. Time was passing by and I didn’t want to wait too long. If I waited till morning, she could get the impression I had better things to do than text her back. Which was wrong, completely wrong. Nothing was more important to me right now.

In the end, my response seemed completely inadequate but it was the best I could come up with.

I sent back: Seems I was wrong about a lot of things. Total shock to the system.

I waited with bated breath.

It was after ten already, would she get it tonight? Would she respond? I waited for five minutes and the anxiety was getting to me. I jumped up and went downstairs to check on Summer, then walked through the house switching off lights and tidying things, looking at bills, opening actual physical mail, something I hadn’t done, perhaps ever.

Evie didn’t respond that evening, even though I was up for several hours, waiting for a response from her.

The next morning, her response came: You’re not the only one. I got a few things wrong too.

I was quick with my answer: Not a lot, though.

She sent a smiley emoji face but no words.

Damn. I should have seen that coming. I didn’t want to send something back too quickly but this is what I thought about all day. The fact that a channel of communication had finally been opened between us. It seemed like she was ready to talk to me again and I didn’t want to blow it. I forced myself not to rush things, not my natural state at all.

But I had learned that there were things that felt right for me, that weren’t. Steps of action that I would leap to, that were better not taken. Not if I wanted to keep people in my life, especially the ones that mattered.

By now, I had no doubt in my mind, if I could get Evie back in my life, I would do whatever I could and for the first time in months, it seemed possible.

I waited two days, then I sent the next message: I’ve learned a few things over the past few months. Wanna hear some of them?

Within minutes she answered: Don’t drink and drive?

Keeping it light, I saw that.

I answered with the laughing tears emoji.

And waited. I was sure she would ask. But she kept me waiting a full day.

Then she sent: Ok. I’ll bite...

I’d been thinking about this one for a while, so I was ready for her.

I said: I’m not as smart as I thought.

She texted: Oh?

Me: I lost you.

Source: www.allfreenovel.com
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