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I wait outside the apartment building leaning against the wall, still focusing on my breathing. The taxi pulls up and I get in feeling the stabbing pains getting worse. "To the clinic?" The driver asks. "Yes, please hurry," I say through clenched teeth.
He streaks through the traffic seeing how much pain I am in, and he parks right outside the clinic doors. The driver gets out and letting me lean on him, with his arm around my waist to steady me, he guides me into the clinic.
As I walk in, I feel warm blood run down the inside of my thigh, and I cry out in horror.
Nurses rush towards me with a wheelchair and gently put me into it and I am whisked off into the clinic.
Laying on the bed next to the ultrasound machine waiting for the doctor to arrive all I can think about is Lennox. He should be here with me. I should call him and let him know what is happening. But he made it clear. He does not want anything to do with me anymore.
I am so angry with him.
I stare at my exposed stomach, just starting to show. Soon I won't be able to hide the pregnancy at work. My belly is starting to grow bigger by the day.
The doctor comes in smiling gently. "Alright, Emma, let us take a look and see what is going on. Don't get too worried, because bleeding is not uncommon." His voice trails off as he rubs gel on my stomach and places the cold steel against my skin, moving it around. It feels like everything is moving in slow motion. I stare at the screen, every muscle in my body is tense and I can hardly breathe.
Suddenly the room is filled with a faint beep - beep - beep -
"Aaah, there it is. The little one's heartbeat."
I take a sharp breath in, not aware of how long I had been holding my breath for. "A heartbeat? Is everything ok?"
"Yes." The doctor squints at the screen, smiling. "Yes. Everything is good, Emma. You can get dressed and then come through to my office and we can chat."
"But everything is fine, right?"
"Yes, you don't have to worry. We just need to chat a bit about your health."
I sigh in relief.
Dressed and sitting in the doctor's office I can't help fidgeting.
He is looking through my paperwork and asking me some generic questions.
"Alright, Emma." He says. "Do you want me to call your husband? Boyfriend?"
I shake my head with a pang of sadness. "No. That is ok - I - um - I will call him in a bit."
"Ok. The main thing is that your body seems to be under a lot of stress. I am going to need you to take it really easy for the next couple of weeks and then let's do a follow-up in two weeks ok?"
"I have to work," I say - thinking about my rent and all my expenses.
"What job do you do? "He scans my charts. "Oh - a scrub nurse." He wrinkles his nose in thought. "Look, Emma, I can't stop you from going to work but being on your feet for so many hours a day is not going to do you any good. My advice is that you take a few weeks off work."
He raises his brows at me. "I can't." I say. They don't even know I am pregnant. "Do what you can, Emma. This was not a serious incident, but if you don't rest and get rid of some of whatever is stressing you - it can lead to a more serious issue later on."
"I understand." I nod.
"I imagine you would - being a nurse." He looks at me sternly.
The doctor handed me a prescription for various vitamins and something to help me through the stress. "The vitamins you should keep taking for the second trimester; the other meds are just for a week or two."
"Thank you," I say, standing to leave.
Should I call Lennox?
No. I can't face him right now. Not after this morning.
I catch a taxi home, thinking about the driver who dropped me off at the clinic and how sweet he had been to help me. I should contact him on the app and make sure I let him know I appreciate his help. It was nice to have that support when I was so scared.
