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He was on my list, people on my list never survived. I wasn’t going to make an exception for him just because he was my– my what? He was nothing to me. He was a rapist and that was all he would ever be to me.
I should cut my scar open again. It was starting to heal and if I let it heal, I would forget what Jayden did to me. I would forget that he cut me because his ‘daddy’ said so. I'd forget how he didn’t try to help me for eight days and when he eventuallydidhelp me, he didn’t come with me.
I wouldn’t lie and say that his little ‘I choose you’ didn’t affect me. It did and I didn’t like the fact that I still had even a hint of feeling for him, the way I did when we were young.
I should hate him and even though I did, the Jordan in me was refusing to forget her Jay. The Jordan in me wanted him to pull her close while she recounted how her life had been so he could recount his too.
The Jordan in me had never been mad at Jayden because he raped her, she knew he was helpless too. The only reason she was mad at him was because he helped her escape even though it meant they might never see each other again.
The Jordan in me never wanted to kill Jayden. How could she? He was her Jay, why would she kill her Jay?
But Alexis?oh please!Alexis wanted to rip out his throat and watch him bleed to death. Alexis wanted to cause him pain, even more than he had caused her. Alexis wanted to torture him till he begged for death like her father and some of her past targets. Ah she loved it when they begged for death themselves.
“Who’s next, Alex?” Yusuf said to me, staring at his laptop.
“Yeah, Troy is out of the way and you clearly said there’s more,” Gideon supported and I nodded at them.
“Yes there’s more. The next is Rick Antonio.”
“Another Antonio? Did the Antonios maybe do something to you?”
I groaned. It wasn’t the first time they asked that question. Ever since Troy’s death, they didn’t stop trying to find out what it was that the ‘CEO of Gates group’ could have done to a girl like me.
“Yes they did and I have all of them on my list. If you don’t want to join them on that list, don’t ask me stupid questions. Just shut the fuck up and listen to me when I tell you I have someone to kill.” I snapped and they shook their heads at me.
“Honestly, you are too harsh. You need to learn to…” Yusuf started and I smacked my fist on the table, shutting him.
“ Did you just say too harsh? If this is too harsh, then what will you call it when I put a bullet through your heads? Listen to me, Yusuf, you don’t want to see my harsh side so stay quiet if you have nothing to say.”
“You don’t scare me with bullets, you know you don’t. I’m only being nice to you because I see you as a sister…”
I huffed. “Sister. And what will you do if you are not being nice to me?” I demanded with a raise of my eyebrows.
I had never for once argued with Yusuf, which was more proof that I was in the worst mood.
“It’s okay, Alex, what do you want?” Gideon asked with a gentle voice and I blinked. When did Yusuf and Gideon switch personalities? And when did Yusuf start getting on my fucking nerve?
“Hatch a plan, I want Rick dead.”
Yusuf cleared his throat and drummed on the table. “Alright, I’m sorry.” I threw a glare at him and he chuckled. “I’m sorry, okay? I just feel like you have to tell us what’s wrong before we can help you the way you want. We need to understand you to work like you.”
“Yusuf is right. It’s not like we’re getting a dime from this, we just want to know what’s wrong. What did the Antonios do to you? You’re about to kill another one of them.”
I stared on for a while. The only people I had told other than Chan were my two therapists who ended up taking advantage of me, and my karate teacher who was now dead. Was I ready to tell anyone else?
I glanced at them and they raised their eyebrows, bringing a groan out of me. They wouldn’t let me rest or help me if I didn’t tell them what they wanted to know.
“I got raped by six boys when I was twelve,” I revealed and they widened their eyes at how casually I said it. What did they expect? The tears or the sappy shits?
“Fuck, are you serious?”
“No April fools,” I teased with a smile before a frown came down on my face. “Of course I’m serious. Once upon a time, my dad stole a man’s money. He kidnapped my mom and I, had his six sons rape me for eight days while he raped my mom for eight days. And they will die painfully ever after. The End.”
To say they were dumbfounded was an understatement. They stared at me as if I had been switched right there on the seat, and I knew they were just surprised at how relaxed and indifferent I was about the situation.
It didn’t mean anything anymore, since it had already happened. The only thing that hadn’t happened was seeing all the Antonios six feet under the ground.
And I was working on it.
