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I tried to swallow over the dry lump in my throat. My heart constricted and twisted inside my chest.
I didn’t want to hear his answer.
Either way—I couldn’t deal with it.
“Shit happens,” Cash answered back. “Jillian’s a great woman. She made her decision years ago.”
Beau added in, “I love her, too. She’s like a sister to me.” He looked at the fire for a few seconds, then back to Cash. “But this whole situation is fucked up something awful. I swear, she cringes whenever that douche canoe is around. It makes zero sense. Anyone with eyes could tell how in love you guys were on the show.”
“Oh, boy,” Niki said as she stuffed a handful of popcorn in her mouth. The rest of the room stayed completely silent.
“She’s made her choice,” Cash told Beau. The sad, resigned tone of his voice broke my heart.
Trey turned to Beau. “Well, she made the wrong choice.”
Beau nodded and bit into his jerky. “Totally fuckin’ wrong choice.”
A pain shot through my hands, and I suddenly realized I’d been digging my fingernails into the palms of my hands. I opened my fists and took a long, deep breath.
A hand grabbed mine and squeezed. “You okay?” Gigi whispered to me. She was trying to be quiet—but the entire room was silent. So, I’m sure everyone heard.
Not that it mattered.
They all probably shared Trey and Beau’s opinions.
I mean—I did, too.
I didn’t look at Gigi, but I nodded in response to her question.
Even though I was not okay.
Nope.
Nothing about this situation was okay.
It would never be okay.
Thankfully, the screen came to a halt and Marco came back. “Whoa, it looks like those three guys had quite the fishing trip.” He spun around and spoke directly to Christina, “And what do you think about Cash’s revelation about Jillian?”
She looked more than uncomfortable. “That’s not really any of my business. But I can understand his point of view. I think we’ve all gone through difficult breakups before.” The audience clapped and there was a low hum from them talking to each other.
“Come on, that’s some juicy stuff right there!” Marco’s eyebrows rose and he grinned into the camera. “I wonder if we’ll ever find out why Jillian dumped Cash at the rose ceremony? Because I’m with Trey and Beau on this one. Why would she have chosen Stuart over Cash?”
Christina looked like she wanted to bodycheck Marco right off the stage.
So did I.
“We don’t know what goes on behind closed doors, Marco.”
“Well, actually—” Marco’s arm flung out and he pointed at the large screen, “we do now.”
The screen went nearly pitch black. You could hear some rustling around, but it was mostly quiet.
Until Trey’s very, very soft voice asked, “You still love her, right?”
A few seconds passed, and in the still, dark night, Cash said, “If I answer, will you shut up and go to sleep?” He let out a loud yawn. I knew it was his yawn because I’d heard it many times before.
“Yeah,” Trey stated immediately.
