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"But that’s how I first got into taxidermy. I felt godawful that I’d killed them, and I wanted to honor the lives I’d accidentally taken away. That first squirrel, she was the one that set me on the path to where I am now."
"So you both impacted each other’s lives," River murmured.
"Yeah, that’s how I like to think about it." Cassidy stood. "Would you like to see?"
River rose slowly, keeping the blanket wrapped around their shoulders.
The glass cloche sat on a shelf beside the doorway down to the studio.
"This is Marge. I have no memory of why I started calling her Marge, I just did."
River peered at her intently.
"Hey, Marge."
"I’m much better than I was then," Cassidy felt compelled to say.
River was looking at the door and didn’t respond.
"That where the fox is?" they asked finally.
"Yeah. Are you thinking about what you wanna do with her?"
"Do you think someone would want her?" River asked.
"Oh, definitely. Foxes are quite popular."
"You should have her, to … Do you say, 'to taxidermy'? 'To stuff?'"
"I like how you always want to know the right words to use for stuff."
"Words are important."
"To mount," Cassidy said.
"Pardon?"
"The fox. You’d say that I’m going to mount her."
River snickered.
"Yeah, I know," Cassidy said, smiling. "The joke lost its effect after the first hundred times."
"I’ll bet."
"Thank you," Cassidy said. "I’ll honor her life as best I can. I promise."
"I know you will," River said, brushing away a tear that slid down their cheek.
They turned and rested their forehead against the door to the studio and whispered, "I’m sorry."
Cassidy’s eyes got misty, too. Causing the end of a life was serious business, no matter how it happened.
"Phew, okay," River said, turning around and shaking their hands out. "Do you still wanna have our date?"
"So much," Cassidy admitted. "But if you’d rather reschedule I absolutely understand."
"I want to," River said. “I’m just afraid I might not be the best company tonight."
"Well, how about you don’t worry about being good at anything or being company and just focus on doing whatever feels good to you. And I won’t worry about trying to make you feel better and just focus on doing what feels good for me. What do you think?"
"Hmm." River narrowed their eyes. That sounded suspiciously like Mikal’s suggestion. "I think you’ve been to therapy, and I’m very fucking relieved."
Cassidy laughed the laugh of someone whose therapist had indeed explained codependency to him.
"I did learn that in therapy and I’m gratified you appreciate it."
"That sounds good, then," River said. "After all, a fox gave its life so that we could have brie. Be a shame for it to go to waste."
"I’m a sucker for brie," Cassidy agreed. He was very willing to shift to a lighter tone. "We’d better do it."
"Hey, Cassidy?" River chewed on their lip. "Thanks."
CHAPTER 19
River
Cassidy’s truck cut a path through the steadily falling snow and River followed in their car. As they drove, they called Rye, who answered with an enthusiastic "Hey, Riv! What’s up?"
"Have you ever … uh."
Rye shushed someone in the room.
"If it’s awkward, illegal, embarrassing, or stupid, I’ve probably done it. What happened?"
"How would you handle showing up at someone’s house sobbing because you hit a fox in the road and then having a complete meltdown over being a death bringer? Just, you know, hypothetically."
"Yeah, hypothetically, sure. How did said person respond to this alleged meltdown?"
"Like a total fucking sweetheart," River sighed.
They could picture Rye’s wolfish grin.
"So, if you’d’ve asked me this five years ago, I would’ve said that no one is actually that sweet and you should cut and run because now that someone has seen you vulnerable they’ll take advantage of you. No, I’m not telling them that! You entered mid-sentence! Christ, Charlie, your particular brand of angel isn’t common, but that’s what I was going to say next."
River snickered.
"Anyway," Rye said. "Now I know, due to the incredible influence of my amazing partner—happy now?—that there really are people who are, like, bizarrely more kind than you might imagine if you grew up with people who weren’t the best. Yeah, yeah, yeah," he added, and River heard him and Charlie kiss.
"Okay, he’s gone," Rye said, tenderness lingering beneath his dismissal. "Anyway, Cassidy—I mean, this hypothetical person—might actually be another of the truly great humans that seem to be overrepresented in Garnet Run."
River picked at the rubber peeling off their gear shift.
"How would you change vibes if, say, you were segueing directly from sobbing in his arms to being on a date?"
"Just hypothetically?" Rye teased.
"Asshole. I shoulda called Simon."
"Oh, you should! Love that guy."
Rye and Simon were so different in demeanor that their friendship seemed odd at first, but Rye had a way of bringing out Simon’s snarky side that River very much appreciated.
"Fine, I will then," River teased. "Bye."
"Wait, wait, okay, fine. Look, you’re doing well cuz you had a freakout over a legitimately sad thing. And Cassidy, if he has any heart, will get that. We’re done pretending it’s not Cassidy, right?"
