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“I’m sorry,” I started, and her face fell. She’d been expecting me to go against that assumption. She was thinking I’d argue against a break, and now I could practically feel her deflating.Fuck.I hated disappointing her.
“Tyler,” she said kindly, “it’s okay. I’m not mad.” She rubbed my back, freely giving me the comfort I craved and should’ve been giving her, and that just made me want to break down even more.
“Thereisone thing I feel I can help with right now though,” she continued, her teacher-voice firmly back in place, helping her regain control.
My gaze slid to hers. She pursed her lips and motioned for me to sit up straight.
Arguing with authority was so ingrained in me that I wanted to stay slouched over my knees. “Yeah?” I asked, not moving an inch.
She reached a hand to my chest and forcibly pushed me to a sitting position. I stared down at her dainty hand touching my chest and a goofy grin slid onto my face. I moved to pull her into my lap, but she beat me away with her hands.
“No, no, no,” she disciplined, wagging her finger at me. “Focus.”
My lips twisted as I tried to hide my grin and I lifted my hands in innocence. “Okay, okay.”
“I am going to help you with your reading,” she announced with her chin held high in the air.
My gut twisted.
“I put this together for you.” She held up a heavy, color-coded binder that probably took hours to put together and plopped it in my lap.
I stared down at it, scared to even touch it.
“Josie…” I said in a warning tone, scratching my cheek awkwardly.
“Look, if you don’t want the help, then fine, but I put a few tests in there and you don’t even have to tell me what the results are, but… has anyone ever tested you for dyslexia?”
I paused, staring at her mouth, mentally replaying what she just said. “Dyslexia?”
Her eyebrows scrunched together. “Yeah, like the letters kind of jumble up on you when you’re trying to read?”
“That… that is what happens, but no.” My hands were sweating, and I had to rub them on my pants. “No one’s ever…” I looked at her sheepishly. “Because I never let anyone know.” I shook my head. “I’m so dumb, I should’ve-”
“No,” she snapped. “I don’t want to hear you insult your intelligence ever again. And no dwelling on the past. We move forward.” Her hand reached out and patted my shoulder. “Now, I’ll be honest, I don’t know all too much because I’m a high school teacher, and I think they place more focus on that in the earlier grades for early detection and all that, but I spent today researching and I reached out to our district’s reading specialist.”
I pulled at the collar of my t-shirt, because it suddenly felt like it was strangling me. “Josie, you didn’t have to–” I started, but she cut me off with thatknock-it-offlook again.
She took the binder and flipped through it for a second, then pointed down to an article. “There’s a theory that dyslexia means your brain actually thinks in 3D, which kind of makes sense for you. According to my dad, you’re super good at making up plays and thinking spatially.”
I paused at that, feeling surprised over Coach’s words. He was never one to throw around too many compliments, so that actually meant a lot.
“With all that said, it seems that a good way to casually improve and practice your reading is by listening to audiobooks and following along. I really wish I had other books on hand, but I only have romances, which I’m not sure you’d be all too interested in,but, I do have hockey romances on hand,” she said excitedly. I couldn’t bring myself to say anything that would potentially burst her happy little bubble, so I went along with it. “I picked my favorite. I already purchased the audiobook, so all you have to do is download it. Here, give me your phone,” she ordered.
I was struck speechless as she fiddled with my phone. I leafed through the binder and realized she’d just given me a huge gift– a way to get help without having to admit to anyone else that I actually needed help. “Josie, thank you. Seriously. I don’t even know what to say.”
She nodded, handing me back my phone. “No problem. I’m excited. Honestly,” she said with a genuine smile. “We can even listen and read together if you want. I do love reading.”
I rubbed a hand over my forehead, feeling an incredible weight being lifted off my shoulders. I wasn’t sure if this would actually help at all, but her knowing and wanting to help me somehow made it easier.
“Now that that’s settled, you’re probably reeling from information overload. Have you eaten dinner?”
I shook my head. “No, haven’t eaten today.”
Her eyebrows popped up. “All day? You? Tyler Jettersen?” She poked me in the ribs, trying to lighten the mood.
“Yeah, don’t tell your dad,” I tried to joke, but then cringed, hoping that wouldn’t make her upset.
She snorted. “Let’s fix this before you starve to death. I’m going to order takeout from Pops, you want?”
