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"Have you ever heard the story about the prodigal son?"
"No," I say, shaking my head.
"A wealthy man had two sons. One of the sons was impatient and asked his father for his share of his inheritance. His father, being generous as he was, granted this request. This son took his money and traveled, spending his wealth on luxury and frivolity. However, the money did not last and he soon found himself destitute and living in poverty.
"While working in terrible conditions, he decided to return home and beg his father to allow him to work for him. At the very least, he figured, he would not have to work in such deplorable conditions.
"So, this long lost son made his way home and upon seeing him return, his father rushed to greet him. He was overjoyed that his son had returned. His son tried to ask his father for forgiveness for his sins and request a job working as a servant in his fields, but his father did not even let him finish. Instead he dressed him in the finest of robes and threw a lavish party to celebrate his return."
"I don't understand," I say.
"The father always had forgiveness in his heart. He always hoped for his son to return to him. But, the forgiveness never came until the son had changed his disposition.
"In the same way God always has forgiveness in his heart. He is ready and wanting to give it to us. However, you must be of the right mind to ask for it and be ready to receive it."
"I don't see how anyone could forgive what I've done," I say, my words full of remorse.
"Because you are still like the prodigal son. You have not yet changed your outlook. So long as you hold onto this evil, forgiveness is not possible. The Gospel of Mark says that if you do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses."
"I still don't understand," I say with a sigh.
"It seems to me like you've not yet forgiven yourself for your actions," he says. "So then, forgiveness is not yet available to you."
"Oh," I say, feeling deflated.
"But, this should not be cause for despair. Remember, forgiveness is always available to you. Through penance, you will surely come to find it."
"Can you help me?" I ask, squeezing my eyes shut, trying to hold back the tears that threaten to leak out.
"Yes," he says immediately.
"How?"
"Let's start with confessing your sins," he says.
I take a deep breath and begin to tell this stranger everything that happened.
ChapterFourteen
Now
I wake up the next morning in this strange place. As I lay awake looking at the ceiling above me, I begin to wonder why God had me dream of my introduction to the church.
I'd never really had a dream about that first day I spent with Father Patrick. I'd spent the better part of an entire day sitting in that confessional with him. I worked my way backward, confessing first the crimes that I had committed most recently.
It wasn't until the late afternoon that I was able to finally bring myself to admit what happened to me in high school. He didn't judge me, though. He listened calmly as I told him how I had murdered my parents and how a boy I barely knew helped me cover it up.
His response to that situation always shocked me.
He never took fault with my actions. He did, however, fault Teddy for his role. It was a drastic shift from how I had always seen Teddy.
Until that moment, Teddy had always been my savior.
Father Patrick showed me that Teddy had actually been my Satan.
He showed me that I had sought to make reparations for what I'd done from the beginning. That I had never asked for the crime to be covered up. That I would have willingly gone to prison and paid the price for my sins.
It was Teddy who took over the situation and cleaned up the scene, guaranteeing that I would never be caught.
