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He shuts his eyes like he's in pain. "Don't." When he opens them, tears leak down his face. "It's not your fault."
We sit silently, staring at one another for a few minutes.
"I saw Seth."
"What?"
"I saw Seth," I repeat, looking away, afraid of what he’ll say.
"I heard you." He pauses. "Look at me."
When I do, his face is full of anguish. "In my dream, or whatever, he was at the cabin. He looked so good, Ricky," I whisper with a sad smile. “He was happy.”
He nods and just stares at me.
"I have a message for you." I clear my throat, and Maverick pours water into my plastic cup.
"He told me to tell you that he's always known and would’ve been proud to have you as a brother." I grab the cup from him and take a sip.
My brother's words must mean something to Maverick because his body slumps and he bows his head as his body trembles. Still holding onto my hand, he cries. I've never seen Maverick this vulnerable before.
"Was it a bad message?" I ask in worry.
He lets out a light chuckle. "No, baby." He lifts his head and wipes the tears away but keeps holding my hand. He raises my hand to his mouth, and he kisses my fingertips.
Knowing he won't share its meaning, I don't push. It's something between him and my brother; I don't want to intrude on their moment.
The door flies open, and Dad rushes in with Mom by his side. Dad falls to his knees and weeps. Mom runs to the other side of me, pulls me into a hug, and cries against my hair.
"Dad?"
He looks up at me and rises to his feet. "Yes, doodlebug?"
I give him a warm smile and relay Seth's message that was meant for him, "Seth never blamed you." Upon hearing these words, my father's emotional state appears to crumble before me. His shoulders slump, and his eyes fill with tears as the weight of his perceived guilt is lifted off his shoulders.
Maverick takes this moment to try and leave, but I hold onto his hand, not wanting him to go. He gently pulls away and smiles at me. "You need this. I'll be back," he mouths.
I am exhausted from all the crying and just want to hold my son. Mom said she would bring him by in the morning with Gem. My head throbs, my throat is itchy, and my heart swells with love and peace.
Seeing Seth for the last time, even if it was a dream, has put me at peace. I close my eyes and fall into a deep sleep with a smile.
* * *
The piercing sound of a cell phone ringing jolts me awake. I open my eyes to find myself still in a hospital room. Maverick is sitting beside me with his phone to his ear.
"Hey Sam, what did you find out?" he asks, his voice filled with urgency.
There's a long pause, and I can feel the tension building in the air.
"What? Are you sure?" Maverick's voice cracks.
Another round of silence ensues, and I can tell from Maverick's expression that he's hearing some terrible news.
"Okay, thanks, Sam." Maverick ends the call, his hands trembling.
"Is everything okay?" I ask, my voice laced with concern.
Maverick looks over at me, tears streaming down his face. He seems lost in thought for a moment.
