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Playing out? The question surprised Baird. What was wrong with things as they were? They were a popular power couple in Edinburgh, which was close to where Fiona was from. He hadn’t minded moving from Glasgow. He hadn’t objected to sharing her place—how could he—it was a gorgeous three-bedroom flat with enormous bay windows and lots of natural light, a necessity in a city like Edinburgh.
Who knew that Fiona’s innocent question would unravel everything? But it did, quickly. Fiona felt the pressure of her ticking biological clock. She, who’d never expressed desire for children, now longed for them. Wanted them. And begged Baird to start a family with her.
But Baird had no plans to marry. He had no desire to be a father. He thought Fiona understood that. He thought he and Fiona were both happy being childless. They were partners, even without the piece of paper. It was a good life, a fulfilling life. They had each other and work they loved. What more could one want?
Apparently, a great deal.
Fiona wanted to be a mother. She wanted to marry. She didn’t know why she couldn’t be a surgeon, Baird’s wife, and mother to his children. They were happy together, good together, weren’t they?
Baird tried to explain his position. If things were good, why change anything?
If they were happy, why not continue as they were?
But Fiona was no longer happy. She didn’t shout or throw things, rather she retreated somewhere inside of herself, her eyes enormous with grief and pain. She focused on the fact that he wouldn’t marryher, that he wouldn’t have children withher, not caring that he didn’t want to marry anyone, or have children with anyone. Couldn’t she see that it wasn’t personal? Couldn’t she see that nothing had changed?
But it had.
As the months warmed, spring creeping closer to summer, work consumed them, but the ties that had always been there between them were unraveling, the trust broken.
In late May, they agreed to take a break. Baird, who’d bought a building a mile away, would move into one of the flats which was becoming available June first. Living apart would give them time and space, hopefully allowing them to come to a consensus.
Fiona agreed. Yes, to time and space. Maybe being apart would make Baird remember what he’d loved about her.
But the time apart didn’t heal, and Fiona realized Baird would never change his mind, and she wasn’t going to give up her dreams just to make him happy. Just like that, four years with Fiona was over.
Baird missed her. You didn’t just stop loving someone overnight. But he was also relieved. He couldn’t give Fiona what she wanted. It was better this way. She could meet someone new, someone who would want a family, and he could focus again on work.
It was in this reflective mindset that Baird arrived in Seattle for the wedding. It had been a revelation traveling by ferry, so much beauty in the Puget Sound, so much warmth and sunshine.
Baird had needed this trip, needed to get away. It felt good to be somewhere new. For the first time in months he could breathe, relax. Arriving at the resort, he checked into his room, a stunning suite with an equally stunning view of the water and the harbor, then showered and dressed for the welcome cocktail party. With fifteen minutes before the party began, he pushed open his sliding glass door and stepped out onto his balcony, savoring the scent of pine and golden rays of light.
That’s when he saw her, an angelic vision with long red hair, dressed in the palest shade of blue, her long full skirt swirling around her legs.
Her profile was so much like Cara’s—her build was so much like Cara’s—he knew immediately who she was. Ella, the younger sister, the brilliant scholar who graduated from high school at sixteen, and was flying through graduate school, soon to be a full-fledged professor in her own right.
Baird watched her, intrigued. He’d heard a lot about her. And for the first time in months, he didn’t feel dead.
Watching her greet two guests, affectionately hugging first the wife and then the husband, Baird knew Ella was different, special. His body knew it, too, tightening with awareness, hardening with desire. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt such intense desire. He didn’t even know Ella yet, but she’d already changed his world, knocking him off balance, taking his breath away.
He couldn’t wait to meet her and yet he could.
He wasn’t ready for someone like Ella, wasn’t ready to want anyone, wasn’t ready to live again.
And yet as the breeze caught her long hair and pale blue skirt, she reminded him of the tiny ballerina in his sister Maisie’s jewelry box, the ballerina so delicate and beautiful in its tiny white tutu it almost hurt to watch her twirl, one pirouette after another.
He felt that same bittersweet awe now. Ella was glorious and impossibly alive. She was not of this world, and if he wasn’t careful, she would change everything.
Absolutely everything.
And she did.
*
Ella had fallenasleep with Cara watching one movie after the other. She only woke when the TV turned off and she opened her eyes to discover Alec there, setting his luggage down by the door.
He put a finger to his lips. “Go back to sleep. I’ll crash in the next room.”
Ella shook her head and climbed from the bed.
