AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Nobody was perfect. I sure wasn’t. I believed in second chances when something major happened, like my dad cheating on my mom the first time. Repeatedly betraying her, I wasn’t so forgiving about.
Rocky had brain farted, no question. He could’ve prepped me beforehand that if he went quiet, not to worry. It certainly would’ve spared me a ton of tears and a broken heart.
If he honestly hadn’t had his phone while doing club business, who was I to doubt him? I still didn’t know much about the motorcycle club. They weren’t choir boys on Harleys, stealing from the rich to feed the poor, like Robin Hood’s band of thieves. The town’s residents feared them. The only saving grace that kept me wanting to be with him was how he made me feel cared for, free to be me, and not to fear any judgment.
I’d put the past several days behind me—it was the Christian thing to do—and look toward the future and… tomorrow night.
6
Rocky (RJ)
“She’s different, and it fucking scares me.” I paced back and forth, flexing my hands and rolling them into fists. “When I’m not with her, I want to torture and kill. And fuck.” I squeezed my head between my hands.
Why was this happening to me? I never intended to claim a woman. Bitches made a man weak because we couldn’t live without their pussies. They talked sweetly to us. Made us feel like kings during sex. They confused and manipulated us, making us unable to live without them. That was why I didn’t talk to chicks and refrained from getting to know them.
Then I met Ella, and everything changed.
I was no different than any other man, controlled by my cock—by the sweetest pussy I had ever had. I would do anything for Ella, die for her, even when my cock hadn’t been inside her.
It drove me crazy when I watched her smile and laugh with the customers at the diner. I didn’t give a fuck if they were men, women, children… young or elderly. Jealousy consumed me.
Ella was mine, and I fucking didn’t want to share her with anyone.
“What do I do? Let her go? Push her away?” My chest tightened at the thought of not being with Ella. I was afraid I’d go crazy without her. “Once I have all of her, I won’t let her go.”
Fuck! Had she cast a spell on me? Was she a wicked seductress? My undoing sent from the heavens? I seethed at the sky, cursing my lot in life and being born into my fucked-up family.
“As it stands, I’ll never be able to forget her. Not her voice, the gold flecks in her green eyes, the feel of her soft ivory skin, or the curves of her body. Everything about Ellassandra is seared into my memory. And the taste of her sweet cunt is burned onto my tongue. I’m fucking doomed, Mom!”
I dropped onto my knees before her gravestone and beat my fist on the ground. Roared and growled like a beast. I was a monster inside and out. But for the first time in my life, I cared about someone other than myself.
Ellassandra Hill deserved better than me. I should save her from my darkness, not bring her into my depraved world.
The Hell’s Bells MC wasn’t like most. My Uncle Keg had ruled with an iron fist and had only looked out for himself. He got off on pitting members against each other to watch them fight, sometimes to the death. We weren’t a devoted and loyal brotherhood. None of us would lay down our life for a brother, yet we followed Keg because we had nowhere else to go. I might not have gotten in so deep if I’d had another option.
If my mom had been a good, protective, and loving mom, and I’d known my dad, I might’ve turned out differently. I might’ve grown up to be a man worthy of someone like Ella.
“I hate you!” I spat on my mom’s grave. “I’m fucked up because of you! You’re probably laughing at me in hell. Getting your jollies off for turning me into a version of you. You never loved me. Never wanted me. All you cared about were drugs and fucking, you whore! You didn’t care what others did to me. You even watched! So did Uncle Keg…”
I smashed my head between my hands before the memories raced back.
“I won’t let you destroy me.” But I knew it was too late.Once fucked up, always fucked upwas what my mom used to tell me.
I should do right by Ella and set her free. It was the loving thing to do.
But I was a selfish prick and would do anything to be in her calming light. If kindred spirits were real—and until Ella, I’d never believed they were—she was the only person who might understand me.
Tonight, Ellassandra Hill would become irrevocably mine. I doubted she was ready to be immersed in my darkness, but she’d grow to like it. Maybe even love it. And if she didn’t, too bad. She’d had her chance to walk away weeks ago and hadn’t taken it. Lucky for me and unfortunate for her.
7
Ella
Getting permission to spend the night at a “friend’s house” had been easier than expected. My dear old dad had glared at me with a knowing glint. He knew I had lied when I’d asked to go to Brenda’s, but he couldn’t object and risk me spilling the beans about his sins of adultery. So when my mom had turned toward him to answer, he’d said sure.
It was empowering to have dirt on my dad to use against him at will. My whole life, I’d been made to believe that I needed to be perfect and untainted for God to welcome me into the gates of heaven. My dad would tell me,“God sees everything, Ellassandra. He knows what’s in your heart before you do wicked acts. Be careful. You don’t want God to reject you.”
My dad was such a lying hypocrite, the biggest sinner of all. At least I never pretended to be perfect and sinless, unlike him.
