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God?
“Come on. I see you stirring. Open your pretty eyes and show me you’re a fighter.”
No, I didn’t want to wake up. I wasn’t a fighter. I was weak.
“I promise to help you. You won’t be alone.”
Who was talking to me? His voice sounded familiar, but I couldn’t place it. It definitely wasn’t God.
“Why didn’t you tell RJ you were pregnant?”
My eyes flashed open, and Vegas was standing above me.
“Finally. You scared the hell out of me.” He smiled, then blew out a breath.
I recognized the inside of a hospital room, maybe the same one where I’d stood vigil by my mother’s bedside on New Year’s Day. A shudder rolled through me at the thought of being in the bed where she’d taken her last breath.
“Why’d you take those pills?” Vegas took my hand in his. “Why? Nothing is so awful that you should end your own life. What about your baby?”
“How do you know about the baby?” I hadn’t told a soul since I’d found out. Not true. I’d told my mom everything when no one had been around. Confessed my many sins. Begged for forgiveness for lying and keeping my dad’s secrets from her. But she’d never woken up.
“The doctor told me.”
“How? You’re not family. You’re nobody to me.”
He lowered onto the chair next to my bed. “I lied and said I was your uncle and only living relative. Why didn’t you come to me for help?”
“I don’t want your help or the club’s. I just want to be done.” Tears rolled down my face. I had no living relatives and thought I could be with my mom in heaven, but I’d gone about it wrong. I’d fallen so low in despair, as my dad had after my mom had discovered the truth about his cheating, that I’d panicked and swallowed all the pills to make the hurt go away. If I had died, I would probably be with my dad wherever God sends murderers and those who commit suicide.
“Because of RJ? Is he why you did this?”
“Yes. I don’t want to live without him. I don’t want to go through life imagining him with another woman.” A sob bubbled out of me. “I have nothing anymore! He threw me away like yesterday’s trash, and I can’t take it anymore! I can’t. It hurts too much… It’s killing me more and more each day. I just want to be done.” I hid my face and cried.
“Well, it wasn’t your time to go. Now you’ll fight for your baby.”
“Who found me?” I whimpered as I stared at the monitor showing my baby’s heartbeat. Its strong rhythm made me feel so much worse. How could I try to kill my innocent child?
“I did. And I’m not going to let Rocky Jones destroy you.”
“Too late. He already has.”
The rumble of a motorcycle tugged me back to the present. My face was wet, and snot dripped from my nose. I searched for a tissue, then plucked a napkin off the coffee table to dry my tears.
My heart felt raw all over again. Sliced open and exposed. So much for thinking Rocky wouldn’t affect me anymore.
I opened the front door just as Tomcat approached.
“Hey, baby.” He considered me for a long second. “Were you crying?”
“You shouldn’t have come. If Rocky finds out…” I shook my head. “There’s no telling what he’d do. He’s unpredictable.”
“Fuck him. Nobody wants him here. He can’t just waltz in like a fucking king and think we’ll fall at his feet and worship him.” He gently pushed me back into the house. “Besides, I know you need me.”
I did need him, but… “Tomcat, I can’t be with you tonight.”
“I’m not here for sex, Ella. I’m here for emotional support. To help you, however you need it.”
“Can you give me money?”
