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“I wasn’t expecting you at all, Journey.”
I lean down and kiss her senseless. I kiss her until my lungs are begging for air. Then I go right back in and kiss her some more.
Until the alarm goes off for the roast.
We work side by side to get dinner finished up. When she calls Shiloh in to help set the table, I’m struck by the domesticity of the scene. I pause, waiting for some type of panic to take over, but it doesn’t happen.
I think I’m content? It’s not something I’ve ever felt. Not like this. It’s nice. You better fucking believe I’ll be doing whatever is necessary to make sure I keep feeling this way.
When we sit down, the feeling doesn’t just stay, it grows. Eating with my girls in my house, one I hope they share with me soon, is surreal. It’s amazing how quickly your life can change.
All I did was open my front door.
Dinner was the best and the talk around the table was easy and light. But I know there are some tougher subjects ahead. Shiloh heads off to her room while Journey helps me clean up and the air around us gets tenser with every minute that passes.
When the last dish is put in the dishwasher and there isn’t anything else to do, she sighs and leans against the counter. She doesn’t look at me, and I won’t force the issue, for now, even though I want to look into her eyes as she talks.
“I was 15 when I got pregnant with Shiloh,” she starts and my heart sinks. I can’t imagine her so young and getting that kind of news. “Her sperm donor and I only had sex the one time,” she huffs, “and I told him I wasn’t on birth control and to use a condom. I watched as he threw it away after. It doesn’t matter now,” she says the words more to herself than to me.
When her eyes meet mine, they’re full of devastation and there’s no way I can stop myself from touching her. I pick her up easily and stalk into the living room where we sit with her situated on my lap. Part of me is just waiting for a name, because then I’ll know who to fuck up, but I know it’s not what Journey needs right now.
“There’s a lot of stigma around being a teen mom. People wanted to try and pressure me into putting her up for adoption. They looked down on me and called me all sorts of names. Tom, the guy from the tree lot,” I nod while trying to stem the flow of my rage, “I went to school with him and the guy who got me pregnant. He wasn’t nice back then and he still isn’t. It’s not like he was the only one. Most of the town turned their backs on me.” She scoffs, “It wasn’t like getting pregnant so young was my dream or anything.”
“If you could do it differently, knowing what you know now, would you?”
“No,” her answer is instant. “Shiloh is the best thing that has ever happened to me. She’s the reason I kept getting up and smiling in the faces of those who thought I was just worthless trash.”
“Has he ever had any involvement? His family?”
She shakes her head, her admission too damn close to a sob, “Never.”
“Then they’re missing out. Big time,” I grin at her, hoping to lighten some of the pain wrapped around her.
“They are,” her voice is firm, like she believes the words. “My brother has always been great, and he didn’t judge me for getting pregnant so young.”
“Why isn’t he here protecting you?” I growl the words, pissed at him because she didn’t have the support she needed.
“He has his own dreams, Tanner,” she pats my chest as she says the words, like she’s trying to soothe me. It’s working. “He’s a musician and is signed with WPF Records in Denver.”
The name sounds familiar, but I can’t place it at first. “Oh shit,” I gasp, “Is that the one owned by Suburban Outcasts?”
“It is,” she tells me, and I’m floored. I have a million questions, but one stands out. She must be able to read me because she gives me a little kiss and then settles against my chest again. “It wasn’t easy. I kept thinking it would change. At first, I thought her father would come around, but once I accepted that I was going to be the only one in Shiloh’s life fighting for her, I put everything into it. She’s worth it.”
I run my hand up and down her back, soaking in her words and trying to quell the anger inside of me at the people who turned their backs on a scared child. For what? Appearances? I just wish I was surprised. In a small town, people can rally, but they can also punish.
“I’m proud of you,” I rumble against the top of her head and her entire body relaxes in a way that I don’t think she’s allowed in a long time. It’s soul deep. “I’ll always have your back, Journey. You and Shiloh aren’t alone anymore. I’m right here and I’m not letting you go.”
Her words are muffled as she tucks herself tighter into my chest, “How can you be so sure you want to stick around?”
“I can’t explain it very well, but you give me a peace I’ve been searching for my entire life.” I pause, hoping I don’t scare her away. “Will you stay the night?”
“Yes,” she whispers, burying her face in my neck. I feel like she’s just given me a present I didn’t even know I wanted before I met her. “I don’t think I could get Shiloh to leave anyway,” her voice is teasing, but I know why.
She’s hiding, just a little bit. I get it. This feels big. As long as she’s not running away, I’ll give her this.
Journey looks up at me, her big brown eyes full of hope, and looks for deception. I know she won’t find any. When her lips press against mine, nothing else matters. Only her. Only my family.
CHAPTER 5
