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I want him to see me unaffected.
“I know you’re probably not thinking this, but you did great out there,” he tells me genuinely.
I scoff. “She beat me by a landslide. Dominance is far from the word to describe how badly I lost.”
“Don’t think of it like that.” He takes a step toward me; my brain is telling me to step back. To not let him close to me, but my body betrays my mind as I let him come closer. “We all lose, Blondie. That’s a part of being an athlete or even a person. You can’t control everything; the whole season is ahead of you, and I know that there are so many opportunities to recuperate a win against Letty.”
“She’s the reason why I haven’t been able to win anything,” I mumble, my head lowering as I shy away from his stare.
“Don’t think that.” He uses his finger and lifts my chin in his direction. “There will always be someone better than you. Just like there is someone karting their way up to the top right now and in a few years, I might compete against them. They might beat me at my own game time and time again, but I rise and work to win. Because most times, your biggest opponent is your greatest achievement.”
I fall into his touch, his hand now on my cheek as he tries to console me.
“You’re right,” I tell him softly.
He leans into my ear and his smile fans across my skin. “I’m always right.”
I feel my eyes roll at his comment.
He pulls back, grinning like a madman. “I don’t know about you being always right.”
“What haven’t I been right on, Blondie?” He crosses his arms, defiance clear in the way he holds himself.
“Not talking to me before the game or for a whole week in Brazil.” Quirking my eyebrow at him, his sassy stance is now one of compassion.
“I didn’t know that she was coming until last night.”
“Well, you could have at least texted me.”
“I know, I’m sorry. But she’s my girlfriend and I haven’t seen her in months. I’ve left her texts on read and we’ve had no communication.”
His words hurt me; they make my mental walls around me rise higher. I’ve been so vulnerable with him the last few weeks that I’ve failed to notice his responsibilities. I’m the one who is taking all of this too personally when from the beginning he even mentioned he was faithful to Marrisa.
“No, I’m sorry, for even bringing it up. Marrisa is important.” I nod, trying to convey agreement.
“Don’t do that, Vio.” His hands drop to his sides in frustration.
“Do what? Apologize for being needy? I recognize my behavior better than anyone else. It’s selfish of me to ask you for too much.”
“Even if you feel the need to apologize, never tell me how I feel. You shouldn’t be apologizing because you’re not important to me. Apologize because telling me that you’re not as significant to me as Marrisa is an insult. Believe me, Vio, you have become the most crucial person in my orbit.”
My breath catches. His words are sweet, yet they come out of his mouth irritated.
Does me becoming important to him make him uncomfortable? Because never once in the last few weeks, have I felt like an inconvenience to him.
His tone is making me feel otherwise.
Not like it’s a new feeling. It’s an emotion I’ve experienced secondhand all my life.
“Vio!” is called out from behind me.
My head doesn’t spin in that direction immediately. My gaze is still trying to decipher Xavier’s features. He runs his hand over his mouth, signaling that this conversation is over.
That’s when I turn my head.
Ale is walking down the hallway in haste. Once she gets closer, she starts jogging until we both collide into a hug.
“Te he echado de menos!” She squeals.
