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“Sure, baby,” I say absentmindedly. My heart pounds in my ears seeing Jana in the living room, surrounded by decorations while she laughs with my girls. I was worried at first that they would rebel at the thought of a new woman coming into their lives, but Jana’s presence here disproves that theory. I’m surprised at how taken my girls are with her, especially Maddie.
While Morgan was three when Laura died and barely remembers her, Maddie has distinct memories of her mother, as evident in their conversation about the piano in the truck. I’m still in awe at how elegantly Jana handled such a delicate topic and Maddie’s responding emotions.
“Can we get a train to go around the tree, Daddy?” Maddie asks, her voice straining as she reaches for a higher branch. I can’t help but chuckle as her obsession makes an appearance.
“What kind of train?” Jana asks, and I shake my head.Oh, she’s started it now. Even from my position in the kitchen, I can see Maddie’s eyes light up as she turns to our guest.
“I really want a steam engine,” she says. “Lionel has a really cool one that’s electric. It blows steam and everything—I just haven’t saved up enough to get one yet.”
“Oh,” Jana’s eyes widen. “You know a lot about trains then?”
“A lot? She’s practically an encyclopedia for trains, aren’t you honey?” I say with a laugh, sprinkling cheese on top of the sauced-up pizza. Maddie rolls her eyes but smiles despite herself.
“Really?” Jana asks. “What’s your favorite train?”
“Are we talking about steam engines or freight trains?” Maddie asks.
“Oh, um…” Jana pauses, a confused expression taking over her beautiful face. She bites her thumbnail, a habit of hers I’ve noticed. “What about both?”
“Well, my favorite steam engine is the Flying Scotsman,” Maddie says, tilting her head in thought. “Because it was in the Harry Potter movie. But my favorite freight train is the Santa Fe freight train because it can tow 180 tons—do you know how heavy that is? It’s 360,000 pounds.”
“Wow, that’s a lot!”
“I know!” Maddie sits on the arm of the couch, staring up at Jana in delight. “Did you know the oldest running train is calledThe Fairy Queen? Isn’t that so dreamy?The Fairy Queen—it sounds like something from a fairytale.”
“Maddie,” I warn, finishing the pizza and putting it in the oven. “Let’s finish decorating the tree.”
Maddie’s shoulders slump, and I sigh.I can never do anything right with her.Jana’s eyes lock with mine, something akin to understanding flying across her face.
“Oh, I don’t mind,” Jana says, offering the girl a smile. Maddie’s face lights up, but she reaches for another ornament anyway. “How old isThe Fairy Queen?”
“It was built in 1855,” Maddie says, walking toward the tree. Pushing up on her tiptoes, she reaches as high as she can to place the little glass ornament. “It’s in India. Did you know it’s got the world record for being the oldest running train?”
“That’s really cool, Mads,” Jana says with a smile, hanging her own ornament. “You know, I used to ride a trainevery daywhen I was in college. It was the best part of my day.”
“Really?” If possible, Maddie’s eyes widen even more. “That would be so cool.”
“It was,” Jana whispers back, sending me a wink, and I can’t help the way my heartrate speeds up and my palms begin to sweat. I wipe my hands on my jeans as I walk into the living room to help decorate the tree.
“Daddy, can we go on a train ride too?” Maddie asks, turning to me as I get closer.
“I don’t know if there are any trains around here,” I say. Jana holds an ornament out to me, and I take it, our fingers brushing as I do. An electric shock shoots from her hand to mine, and our eyes lock in surprise.
“I’m so sorry,” she says, her tongue swiping over her lip and drawing my gaze. I swallow past a lump in my throat, my skin suddenly feeling too tight.
“No worries,” I reply, collecting myself. “Probably just static electricity from my socks.”
???
By the time the tree is decorated and we’ve eaten the pizza, it’s nearing eight o’clock. The girls doze on the couch, and I shoot Wren a text asking if she can come over to watch them.
“I should probably get going,” Jana says softly, draping a blanket over Morgan and smoothing hair away from her face.
“I’ve got my neighbor coming over to watch the girls so I can give you a lift,” I say, stepping up next to her. She turns around, and I’m closer than I realized. We’re only a few inches apart, and from this vantage, I can see the splattering of freckles over her nose and the golden sunburst in the center of her dark irises.
“Thank you for letting me tag along,” she says softly, her dark lashes fluttering against the gentle swell of her cheeks as she blinks. I’m oddly aware of the thump of my heart in my chest, my skin breaking out in goosebumps as her honey cinnamon-scented shampoo wafts over me.
“Of course.” My voice is hoarse, and I swallow roughly before clearing my throat. “I’m glad the girls had such a fun time decorating with you.”
