AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Maddox?” I can hear her breath catch in her throat, and I lift my eyes, meeting hers. The pain in my chest has dulled over the years, but seeing tears welling in Jana’s eyes brings it back full force. “You—”
“Laura died giving birth,” I whisper.
“Oh my God.” On her breathless whisper, tears slip down her cheeks, and I can feel the pressure break like a dam, my own vision blurring. “Alex, I’m so sorry.”
Her touch is gentle on my face, dragging through the tears on my cheeks. I haven’t cried like this since the doctor told me there was nothing they could do, that my wife hadn’t made it through the birth.
“Maddox lived for an hour,” I say softly. Jana’s warmth seeps into me as she wraps her arms awkwardly around me, her honey cinnamon scent invading my senses. It’s comforting, and I drop my legs, wrapping my arms around her. She settles on her knees, and we hold each other for what seems like forever.
Jana pulls away first, avoiding my gaze as she readjusts, settling farther away than before. I watch her, feeling calmer than I have in months.This is okay.
“I’m so sorry, Alex,” she says, her eyes darting everywhere but to me.
“I appreciate you, Jana,” I say, pushing to my feet and holding my hand out to her. She takes it hesitantly, and I help her stand up. “Thank you for allowing me to talk about Laura and for sitting with me in my grief.”
“Of course.” The empathy in her tone lets me know she means her words. “As humans, we need other humans to share our emotions with. It’s not healthy to bottle it up. I’m glad you opened up to me.”
“It’s easy with you,” I say softly.
She smiles, and I search her face.Everything has been easier with her. Thinking about the last two weeks, everything seemed to push me to Jana: our first meeting here, then being assigned to the same booth. Perhaps thisisfate. Perhaps Jana is the answer to my prayer for a happy Christmas.
“I suppose we can finish this another day?” she says, taking a step back and gesturing to the stacked books.
“Definitely.” I glance at my watch. “Oh, yeah, it’s getting late. Do you need a ride home?”
“No, that’s okay,” Jana says, gathering her coat and bag. “Hadlee lent me her car.”
“Oh, perfect.” I’m disappointed, but I try not to let her see that. Instead, I follow her to the door and wait for her to shrug on her coat. “I’ll call you later to schedule a time to finish these then?”
“Yeah, that’s fine,” she says, looking up at me. Her unruly curls fall in her face as she smiles. “I’ll see you later, Alex.”
Lifting my hand, I push the curls behind her ear. I can feel her heartbeat pulsing just below her ear, and I smile—it’s racing. Her big brown eyes are wide, her full pink lips parting in surprise. This is the most intimately we’ve touched. I lean down and press a soft, yet firm, kiss to her cheek, reveling in the softness of her skin and the hitch in her breath. I linger there for a moment, inhaling the scent of honey cinnamon, before pulling away and meeting her gaze again.
“See you later, Jana.”
Chapter Twelve
Alex
Sharing with Jana closed a chapter I hadn’t realized I’d been keeping open. Since that night, everything with her has felt attainable. I love Laura, and I always will. I know she’ll always hold a piece of my heart, but now…loving someone else doesn’t seem so impossible.
I watch Jana and Maddie hold hands as they circle the ice rink, big, bright smiles on their faces. Jana is bundled up in her new red coat and a white cap, her dark curls hanging loose around her face. I smile at seeing them together. I know she loves my daughters; I can see it in the way her eyes light up, in the curve of her smile.
Morgan tugs on my hand, and I bring my attention back to her. She’s in an adorable sweater dress and white scarf that match the ones Maddie’s wearing: gifts from Jana. She smiles brightly, tipping her head back to look at me.
“Can we get hot cocoa, Daddy?” she asks sweetly, showing me her teeth.
“Sure, sweetie,” I say, skating slowly toward the other two. Morgan’s excited giggles draw their attention, and Maddie waves. “Should we get Maddie and Miss Jana?”
Morgan nods, her soft blonde curls bobbing with the motion. I pull her along with me as I lazily skate across the rink, keeping Jana and Maddie in my sights as people skate between us.
“Daddy, do you think Miss Jana loves us?” Morgan asks, her voice small in the din of the skate rink. My eyes follow Jana, and I nod.
“Yeah, baby, I think she does.”
“Do you love her?” The question catches me off guard, and I crouch down in front of her.
“Why are you asking that, Bug?”
