Page 28 of There I Find Wisdom


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“God provided this for you, didn’t He?” Lana said.

“He did.”

“He’s somehow been taking care of you all of your life, hasn’t He?”

“So far. I don’t know why I’m so afraid that all of a sudden at some point, unexpectedly, He’s going to yank the rug out from underneath me and no longer provide. I mean, I could end up in a homeless shelter. Or unable to get to one, and be actually homeless.”

“I can guarantee you that the town of Strawberry Sands is not going to allow that to take place.” There was a firmness in Lana’s tone that hadn’t been there before. It made Dakota lift her head and meet her eyes. They were twinkling, but her face was serious.

“I don’t want to be a burden.”

“Is that something to be afraid of?” Lana asked, her brows raised, her expression wise.

Dakota wished she had the years and experience and the wisdom that seemed to follow Lana around like an aura. “No. I know it’s not anything to be afraid of, but I want to be able to make this work.”

“And you will. If the Lord’s in it. But sometimes He has things for us to go through, things that are hard, but... Somehow when we go through them with Him, they become easy. If we allow it.”

“I’m holding on too tightly. Is that what you’re saying?”

“I don’t know if that’s exactly what I’m saying, but sometimes we hold onto the things that we think should happen. That we expect. That we desire. And God has a different plan in mind. We get all upset and concerned and worried and fret about how things are going to work out the way we think they should, when we could just live a life of peace and ease if we allow God to have His way without us fighting Him every step of the way.”

“You make it sound like I’m one of my children. Sometimes they just need to be quiet and relaxed and things will work out.”

“Maybe that’s why God refers to us so much as His children. I did the same thing when my kids were growing up. I would be disciplining them, and I would find myself saying things like, aren’t you ever going to learn? And I would think that God could say the same thing to me, you know?” She laughed softly. “I tried to stop saying that to my kids, because God never said it to me.”

“It’s kind of hard for me to imagine you needing help,” Dakota said. Her stomach was still a tight ball that felt like it was going to implode, but she was breathing easier.

“Oh, trust me, I had a lot of days of fear after my husband left. I had all these kids running around that were looking to me to feed them and clothe them and take care of them, and they thought I was a capable adult, when I felt like I was still just a young teen girl inside. I was in my thirties, but I didn’t feel like that.”

“That’s me,” Dakota said on a small laugh. “How did I get to be an adult? I don’t feel like one. And I don’t feel like I know how to do it. I need...a manual or something.”

“God gave us the Bible. That must be all we need, since it’s all He gave us. Although, normal people have parents. In a situation like this, you should have your mom to fall back on.”

“I wish,” Dakota said fervently.

“Let me be your mom.”

Her eyes widened, and she looked at Lana. Was she serious?

“That’s...nice but impractical. I can’t just pretend you’re my mom.”

“Why not?” Lana asked, smiling. “Maybe that’s why God sent me here. After all, I wanted to get out an hour ago, but I had a guest who came in and was telling me about the issues that she was having with her husband, and I wasn’t able to come see you. And yet, the timing was perfect because here you were, and you were having a bit of a crisis if I’m not mistaken, mentally anyway, and God put me right here in front of you.”

“I guess that’s God showing that He’s taking care of me, even as I was scared to death and panicking, God was orchestrating things so I would be taken care of.” Dakota kind of murmured that to herself. After all, if it hadn’t been Lana, if it had been someone else, she might not realize God was working things. There was something about Lana that seemed to point her toward Jesus.

“Anyway, I think that’s probably true, and He put the thought in my head that I could be your mom. After all, I already have six kids, what’s one more?” she said with a chuckle.

“But your kids are out of the house, self-sufficient, and this is your time to have for yourself.”

“That’s a bunch of hogwash. It’s no more right to be selfish when you’re old than it is when you’re young. I can’t just spend my days taking care of myself and making myself happy. I’ve got to find someone else to help, otherwise I’ll be a waste. I don’t want to waste these years. I want to use every single breath I have for Jesus. I don’t think I will spend eternity regretting that. But I do think I’ll spend eternity regretting it if I end up with a life of ease.”

“If you’re going to adopt me, you should adopt some foster children.”

“I’ve been thinking hard about that. I just might.”

Dakota raised her brows a little more. She hadn’t heard too many people Lana’s age talking about wanting to continue working. Usually, they looked forward to their retirement and a life of pleasure and low stress. They didn’t consider that they could continue working for God and perhaps should.

“I don’t see retirement mentioned in the Bible. Anywhere. In fact, God used Moses until it was time for him to go home. Then God took him. Same with Elijah. Same with Jesus. And Paul. Even John, on the Isle of Patmos, the last remaining disciple, God had a job for him. Somehow, we get old and we think that God can’t use us anymore, but I say nothing could be further from the truth. I say God wants us to work until we’re dead. When he takes me, then I’ll know I’m done.”

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