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He’d promised to make it up to her but didn’t know how.
He needed guidance.
Pulling out his phone, he dialed the number for his therapist’s office and set up an emergency appointment for that afternoon.
“What can I do for you?” Dr. Byrd asked, peering at Aero over his wire-rimmed glasses.
Dr. Byrd was older, with thinning gray hair and a slightly wrinkled face. He wore sweaters with elbow patches and shiny brown loafers, but Aero liked him a great deal. Dr. Byrd worked exclusively with veterans, specifically those struggling with PTSD or other conditions following their service.
Aero had been seeing the doctor for about a year, since he had joined the Iron Dragons, and Blaze suggested Aero seek counseling.
Aero paced, not sitting on the black leather sofa across from the doctor.
“I met a girl,” Aero said, his voice gruff.
“That’s fantastic.” Dr. Byrd smiled, his keen gray eyes following Aero as he paced over the office carpet.
“No, it’s not.”
“Why not?” Dr. Byrd asked.
“Because I can’t just be with her,” Aero said, flapping his hands at his sides in exasperation.
“Have you tried?”
“I kissed her,” Aero admitted. The memory of Sam’s lips on his made his heart patter.
“And?”
“It was great,” Aero said, and the doctor was sufficiently surprised.
“You didn’t have any response at all?” Dr. Byrd asked, and Aero let out a pained chuckle.
“Believe me, I had a response,” he said, wanting to laugh out loud, his inner horny teenager grinning.
Dr. Byrd laughed softly. “That’s not what I meant. There was no panic? No anxiety?”
Aero shook his head. “I kept waiting for it. It never came. So I kissed her again.”
Back and forth, back and forth, he paced.
“I had to hold her hands,” Aero swallowed, “but still, nothing.”
“That’s great. What’s the problem?” Dr. Byrd folded his hands in his lap, not putting the pieces together.
“I want…” Aero blew out a breath. “I want more, but I’m afraid I’ll panic or I’ll hurt her.”
“You’ve never been violent,” Dr. Byrd said, “unless there’s something you haven’t told me.”
“It’s not that,” Aero said, rubbing a hand over his face in frustration. “I’m worried she’ll move the wrong way and I’ll react badly. Or, if we spend the night together, I’ll fall asleep and have a nightmare. What if I hurt her in my sleep? Or what if I scare her?”
Aero could be loud, waking up screaming or groaning, thrashing about trying to fight off whatever was attacking him in his nightmares. He locked his bedroom door at night because Blaze had once tried to wake him up, and Aero took a swing at him, almost breaking his nose.
Now everybody who lived at the compound knew to let him ride it out, and he’d wake up on his own, but he couldn’t take the chance that Sam would be on the receiving end.
“Have you considered explaining this to her?” The doctor cocked a brow.
“I don’t want her to find out, and then…” He gulped. “I don’t wanna scare her away.”
