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“How can you know that if you haven’t seen them?” Sam asked, confused.
“The last time I was home…” Aero gulped, images flashing through his mind. The church, the smokey, bitter scent of candles and old varnish, the breeze chilling him and fluttering the grass, and the ironic sunshine all made his heart beat frantically. Black seeped into his vision, and he couldn’t blink it away. His throat tightened, making it hard for him to take a full breath.
“Aero.” Sam clutched his wrist and removed his hand from her. He had been resting it gently on her hip, but the more he spoke, the tighter his grip became, his fingers digging into her flesh through her yoga pants. For a moment, she worried she might bruise.
He shook his head, snapping himself out of it. Glancing down, he saw her rubbing her hip where he’d been holding her.
“Sam,” he rasped. “I’m sorry.”
She shook her head. “It’s okay. You just squeezed me a little hard.”
“It’s not okay,” he insisted. “I don’t wanna hurt you.”
“You didn’t,” Sam said, trying to take his hand, but he pulled away.
Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, he leaned his elbows on his knees, his head in his hands. Shame and anger with himself made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up uncomfortably.
Sam hesitated. She wanted to hold him and comfort him, but she didn’t know if touching him would help or hinder the situation. So she waited, watching his back as his breathing slowed a bit at a time.
“You should go,” Aero said, his voice gruff.
“Aero,” Sam said softly, but he shook his head.
“I can’t,” he said, not looking at her.
“Don’t do this. I’m fine. You didn’t hurt me.”
“But I could,” he said louder, turning to face her. His green eyes were intense, and his face was strained. “You should be with someone who can talk to you, who can touch you, and who can give you everything you deserve.”
Sam swallowed hard, tears welling in her eyes.
“Go, Sam.” His eyes were pleading, at odds with his words, which sounded cold and harsh.
She stared back at him, a tear escaping and sliding down her cheek. Standing from the bed, she slipped her shoes on and walked toward the door, feeling hollow inside.
At the door, she turned the lock, trying to make sense of what was happening, but she paused.
Leaving Aero wasn’t going to help him. It wasn’t going to make it any easier for either of them, nor would it make Aero face his trauma. She would be doing him a disservice by walking away.
“No,” she said, locking the door again and turning back to face him.
His head snapped up at the word, which was spoken with conviction.
“What?” he whispered, his blond brows pulling together.
“No,” Sam said louder, tilting her chin up defiantly. “I’m not leaving.”
He held her gaze for a moment, surprise and what looked like fear on his face.
She approached him slowly and sank to her knees in front of him, taking his hands in hers and staring into his eyes. Determination burned in her hazel eyes as she spoke to him.
“I’m not leaving you, Aero. You can’t give up on us every time you have an episode. You don’t scare me. What scares me is the idea of losing you,” Sam said gently.
Aero swallowed hard, not taking his eyes off hers.
“Please don’t push me away. Let me help you.”
Aero couldn’t believe it. She wasn’t afraid of him; she just wanted to be with him and heal him. He let out a shaky breath and closed his eyes, letting the negative feelings leave him.
