Page 36 of Tristitia


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No, I didn’t think so. I could havetriedto change his perspective, but my chances of success were slim. Ultimately, it would have only caused me more pain, and I was done with that. I was overdue for some happiness.

Each step into the heart of the jungle where the entry room was buried in the foliage had me feeling a little lighter.

I’d been playing an unwinnable game, trying to appease someone who could never be appeased, and I hadn’t even realized it. Even with all my years away from home, the strings he’d used to keep me tethered to him had just pulled taut, they hadn’t disappeared.

But now I’d cut them. Now I was free.

“Oh no,” Katriel murmured, watching me appraisingly as I walked through the doors to the palace kitchen. “He’s not here.”

“He’s not?” I asked, my voice wavering ever so slightly. I’d tried to brace myself for whatever I may find when I’d returned to the palace. Told myself that perhaps Calix had changed his mind about getting to know one of the ex-Hunters and that I’d find a way to be fine with that.

Apparently, that had all been a lie.

“Levana!” Torin called, skidding to a stop and grinning at me. “We missed you. The boss is visiting his father in Kelna.”

“Torin!” Katriel hissed. “I was going to interrogate her a little first. Find out why she’s back.”

“She’s back for the boss,” Torin replied, frowning. “Right, Levana?”

“That seems like a conversation I should have with him first.” Though I couldn’t help but smile as I said it. Did Calix even know how loyal his team was to him? He had a gift for cultivating friendships, though I wasn’t sure he realized it.

“Well, Torin has already told you he’s in Kelna,” Katriel sighed, shooting him another disgruntled look. “The house is right up the hill, on the cliff edge. You can’t miss it.”

“Right. Thank you.” I hesitated. Going to Calix’s apartment was one thing. Going to hisfather’shome was an entirely different matter.

“Calix will want to see you,” Katriel said, watching me closely. “He was miserable without you. Just don’t hurt him again.”

“I won’t,” I promised. “Never again.”

Chapter 15

“There’ssomeoneoutsidethehouse,” Father said, looking up the hill as we lugged our purchases from the market back to his place.

“Friend of yours?”

“I don’t have friends. Whoisthat?”

“Fuck,” I murmured, coming to a stop halfway up the path, half wondering if I was hallucinating.

“Oh.Oh. Is that… her?” he whispered, so fucking loudly I wouldn’t be surprised if Levana heard him.

“It… yes. That’s her.”

Levana hesitated for a moment before starting down the path toward us. Father grabbed the basket of ingredients off me, all but shoving me forward to get me moving.

“She came all the way here to see you!”Don’t be hopeful.I’d been hopeful before. I wasn’t going to make that mistake again. “I think she loves you,” Father added, extremely unhelpfully.

“Hi,” Levana breathed, coming to a stop in front of us. “Um, I’m very sorry to barge in on you like this—”

“Not at all,” my father interjected, falling all over himself to make her feel welcome. “My name is Altair, I’m Calix’s father. You’re most welcome here. I need to get these things into the ice pit, I’ll leave you to two to talk.”

Levana shot him a slightly bemused smile as he hurried off up the hill, perhaps not expecting such an enthusiastic welcome. Frankly, I wouldn’t have either. Perhaps my father was more concerned about my lack of serious relationships than he let on.

“How are you?” I asked, the silence growing slightly stifling without my father there to break it.

“I’m…” Levana laughed lightly. “Actually, I don’t really know. I had this whole speech planned and now I’m here I just want to…”

“You just want to what?” It was too late. The hope bubble was back in full force.

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